Somewhere out there

One day, I am going to find someone who likes me as much as I like them, someone who can look past my nervous foot-tapping and anxious sighs, someone that accepts for me for me, someone I can connect with, I don’t have wait in vain for a response because they’re always there, someone who’s there for me as much as I’m there for them, someone to laugh with and a shoulder to cry on when I need a friend, mutual smiles; give and take. I hope and pray that someone is out there somewhere, I’ve yet to find them but I have patience 

Dave

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Does my anxiety make you anxious?

Usually when we talk about anxiety, we talk about it makes us feel but we also forget that sometimes our anxiety makes other people uncomfortable, they sense we are nervous and don’t know why, so they either think we are up to something or perplexed as to why we are so nervous when they are so calm. And of course for the anxious person, they pick up on their discomfort of the calmer person which only increases the anxiety, It’s a terrible thing, this anxiety. And to make matters worse, no one talks about anxiety openly, so we are left feeling alone (when we are not). Just my anxious thoughts a 1:45 am in the morning. 😕 😬

Fire in the sky

The sky’s on  fire and I watch with awe from a distance, such a beautiful sight I am witnessing,

 

Nature’s miracle before my eyes, God’s masterpiece setting below the tree line; an orange glow encases the horizon.

 

The day closes it’s tired eyes and soon the sky is engulfed in darkness.

 

Speckled stars rise to say hello, the moon relieves the sun on their shift and I am left speechless.

 

Image may contain: sky, tree, twilight, outdoor and nature

Older girls

I didn’t know her well but she was cool and she was older and very grown up in my eyes, she was just beautiful to me, she had this exotic look with jet black hair, she had this confidence that older kids always have, when you’re 12 everyone older seems wiser. We used to talk about grunge bands like STP and Pearl Jam; I could talk about music for hours. But I had always Stone Temple Pilots rattling in my head at the time and when I ever hear some of those songs; that feeling and memory is sure to come back; even though those days are long gone. The past is just a faded memory… 1994 🎵

I dreamed of you

I had a dream about you last night, I try in vain to get your attention but your face is cold; stoic, staring off any direction other than mine,

all I feel is hurt, if only you could look my way, but your gaze is fixed away from where I’m standing, it’s a familiar feeling I never quite got used to.

We’re in a classroom full of people trying to talk to me but I all I can do is focus on your indifference; seems like a waste of energy but you can’t control your dreams or your illogical feelings that come and go as they please.

Whatever you’re looking for, I hope you find it and I hope is that in a future dream our eyes we’ll meet and I can sleep a little bit longer that night, until then I tell myself to keep dreaming…

🛌 😴

God calls on us to help others

I am strong believe in God and Jesus, I struggle with religion but my faith never wavers. Tonight, I had just finished up assisting an English as a second language class and I was thinking about what a blessing it was to help others and I decided to make a quick video in my car at Mcdonalds so I share could to my stories on Facebook. I literally had finished making the video and this woman taps on my car window; I was little startled actually but she asked if I could get her and her boyfriend some food because they were hungry and hadn’t eaten all day; I was taken aback because I always feel nervous when strangers approach me for money or anything and I told her I had no cash ( I know it wasn’t the best response) but she asked if I could go into the Mcdonalds with her and buy her a meal; I agreed.

 

We walked in and ordered the food; her boyfriend was sitting at a table and I talked with her a little about their situation and she told me how her boyfriend had lost his job and broke his back  in some sort of accident and it really hurt them financially; they didn’t have a place to stay. I made some suggestions about shelters, getting financial help and I told them about my church and to contact them because they are actively involved in helping those in the community. They got their food and I wish them luck and spoke to her boyfriend for a bit and went on my way.

 

As I was driving home, I realized that God was speaking directly too me at that moment, he called on me to help them as I was talking about helping others; his message couldn’t be more clear and I thought it about some more, I started getting teary eyed and when I got home, I talk to my dad and as I was relaying this story, I just cried and cried; they were tears of joy because God loved me so much and he loved those people and he was working through them; giving me the opportunity to help them in a small way by buying them a meal.

 

I just amazed at how God works and choose someone like me who turned his back on God  to help to spread his message. I think all those bible characters who didn’t feel worthy enough to spread God message but he chose them; like Moses ; a stutterer to speak to the Jews in Egypt or tax collectors or prostitutes; people society pushed aside and condemned; God used these people as their messengers because he doesn’t want perfect people; he wants sinners; he wants to save us and he want us to love others as he loves us. I think if everyone know God in that way, the world would be a much better place.  God is love.

 

Dave

Big empty

I didn’t know her well but she was cool and she was older and very grown up in my eyes, she was just beautiful to me, she had this exotic look with jet black hair, she had this confidence that older kids always have, when you’re 12 everyone older seems wiser. We used to talk about grunge bands like STP and Pearl Jam; I could talk about music for hours. But I had always Stone Temple Pilots rattling in my head at the time and when I ever hear some of those songs; that feeling and memory is sure to come back; even though those days are long gone. The past is just a faded memory… 1994 🎵