The choice (repost)

I found this poem on someone I follow on Instagram at  ashlee_heals_as_she_heals ; check out her great posts.

I tried to copy and paste but it’s impossible with Instagram; this is the best I could do.


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THE CHOICE She raises She drops She forgives She stops She tries to comprehend The lies she put inside her head Were they real? Were they pretend? Will she ever love her heart again? Not looking outside for resurrection But knowing it comes from within No condemnation Just forgiveness Surrender Rejuvenation She returns to her youth Looking back Unraveling Spiraling down into the cocoon Back into the womb She returns to her darkness Embarking this journey with a softness A presence An essence Rescuing her inner child She runs wild Like a flower She grows in the dark She pushes through the foundation Through Earth’s crust, she is born into the light She is earth, she is light, She blossoms out of night Out of the seed she grows Out of the cocoon she stretches Into her element Into her essence Her almighty voyage It is only death of the old Only rebirth of the new She is out of the tomb. Into her own, She accepts her role She is no longer the victim No longer the actor in her story But the observer, the overcomer She is the director. A creator. The director of her reality She is free… A butterfly, Flapping her wings Transmuting everything; Dark into light. Negative into positive. Embracing the opposite. Seeing that duality is a gift To appreciate ourselves in all realms. To accept that this journey doesn’t end The dark night of the soul calls you into the light You have might You must not lose sight For she will not go down without a fight. She catches glimpses of the light But she is the light! She must light her own way back home… Into herself; Her oneness, Her wholeness, To know that she is a Taurean, She is perseverance! She is an ocean, She pushes and crashes. She will not let emotions be her master But she will master the self. She has the tools within to guide her home again. She has God, her inner voice, Her intuition. She has a choice… Will she stay in her darkness or enter the light? Will she give God her fear? Can she accept that unconditional love is always near? Does she know there is no wrong or right? There is only darkness we transform into light!?!? So she ponders, her mind wonders. She makes the choice… … READ IN FULL @thetruthwriter

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Futuristic Past

Reblogged. Follow


What if in the future
In my last moments
I used a time machine
To go back to the day I was born,
To live another life
To shape a new journey
To board a different train.

What if now I’m just
Going in circles
And maybe that’s why
They say that
Everything in life
Is already set
Maybe that’s what’s called fate –
An endless loop,
A timeless destiny.

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Why most of my friends are women

I made this quick video about the reason why I relate so much better to women.  It seems that in any social situation; I always gravitate towards females and I feel more comfortable; I can never seem to relate to men.   It’s something I always wondered about; like why is that? I don’t really have a clear answer except that’s just who I am.  I try to be a kind gentle sensitive man who is open about his feelings and women just tend to be more responsive to that.   So I am grateful to all the wonderful women I have befriended in my life.  Here’s the video enjoy.   And feel to subscribe to my Youtube Channel: Revolutionary musings and my Instagram at Davethewriter18.



What I’m listening to right now

How to handle compliments

I just want to first say are going really well for me right now;  my new job seems to be working out; I am active in volunteering with the disabled ministry; I am reaching out to people online and the past two weeks I have been able to attend church; I couldn’t be happier right now.  And on top of all these good things I have been getting a lot of praise from people at church, work and a lot of online support ( I love the comments and messages; they make my day) Also I just started making videos and the response has been positive. I admit I am self conscious about how I come across; how I speak and my appearance but people have been unbelievably supportive. Making videos creates so much anxiety for me, but I am finding that people have been beyond kind; I didn’t expect it; to be honest.  And offline  I am getting compliments left and right; especially about my work with the disabled ministry; a lot of parents of the young adults have been praising me and I hear good things; it makes me smile. I had no idea I was so appreciated but I try to be kind and gentle and I think they can see that.

I just want to say that I am not bragging; I try to stay humble. I know a lot of us can feel unappreciated and unloved sometimes and I have felt that way all my life; so this is all new to me.  And that’s the thing; like anyone else; I love compliments and it kinda sets me on an emotional high which isn’t always good; maybe it occupies my thoughts too much and I have to tell myself to slow down and take a breather and not get big headed about it.  But even though I love praise at times; it also makes me very anxious because I am not used to especially when it’s almost everyday and from so many people ( some I know and some I don’t know). It makes me nervous because a part of me feels like I’m not worthy of the praise.  I have felt so bad about myself for so long ( and been treated so poorly by others) that I question the authenticity of their praise.  Do they really mean it?  Is it pity? Is it going to blow up in my face when they find out I am not as great as they say I am? I have a past; like anyone else and I have behaved in ways that I’m not proud of; although I feel like I am a much different person these days.  All this praise feels like I am in the spotlight; when some days I prefer to be in the background and yet I crave it; it’s a terrible paradox.  I am hoping over time I can learn to enjoy praise without questioning it and not be as anxious when someone says ” You’re so wonderful”

So when someone praises you how do you handle it?  I know most of us would accept the compliments but how do you handle it internally?  Do you obsess about it? Do you question it?  I used to think to myself; I would ecstatic to have all these praise; and sure it’s great but damn does it create anxiety.   I am really reaching out here and looking for help because I should be happy but some days I just feel overwhelmed with it all.  It’s like I woke up one day and became a different person overnight and it’s like a dream. But I will say that no matter what happens ( and if an some alternate reality I become a famous author) I never want to forget where I came from and all the people that were there for me on those days where I wasn’t getting praised and I felt like life was a battle; days that were long and exhausting.   That’s all I have for today. Thank you again; I am eternally grateful for all your kind and beautiful comments and praises; you make all the difference in my life.  Take care of yourselves.

With much love,



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Feeling like a million bucks after a much needed haircut