The importance of family

I am so blessed to have had such great grandparents and how I learned the importance of family growing up; it really shaped me into the person I am today.   I am sorry about the poor quality but it’s all about the message 🙂



Costco Job update

I have not written a full blog post in quite awhile; I have been focusing on making videos; and it seems that the more I see myself on video; the more confident I become being on camera; I am learning how to speak clearer and slower and just be calmer while I am making the video and I appreciate all the likes on comments on the videos because I am pretty self conscious and making videos for me creates anxiety; so those videos are me facing my fears. I also lost the internet for 3 days either due to the snow storm or the fact that Spectrum has terrible customer service and doesn’t care enough about their customers to promptly fix their internet; but that’s off the subject.  I didn’t have the chance to write much but my wifi is back and I wanted to update everyone on how my new job at Costco is going. Oh yes, and having a new hectic schedule has kept me from updating my blog as much as I’d like but hey this job is more important at the end of the day.

Anyways, how is my job going.   Well it’s been a bit bumpy; like I think more new jobs are but I am improving and feeling more confident.  I work in the front end; assisting the cashiers by loading carts and putting back go backs; I also gather carts; pick up trash etc; I like my job; actually.  There are moments when I get frustrated or anxious but my stomach isn’t in knots and I don’t feel like pulling out my hair. I get along well with all of my supervisors and most of my coworkers; I try to be friendly; I say hi to everyone and smile and ask them how their day is going and a lot of people seem genuinely nice; which is something I rarely have experienced in my previous job. I also enjoy talking with the customers and most of them are also nice.  I try to work hard and at a fast pace and just be the best worker I can be.

About a week ago I was asked if I was comfortable moving to the bakery; I was a little concerned because I thought they were transferring me because I was doing a bad job at front end but then I found out another guy; who was with me in orientation was also moving there and I felt a little better about it. A lot of people told me how hard the bakery is and how tough  they are. I have worked 2 or 3 days and so far I actually prefer it. I like to be away from the crowds and being watched the whole time; it just makes me nervous; even if I’m doing good. I am in my own space and I am not bombarded by noise from people; although the machinery is really loud; we have ovens that beep really loud and huge fans that go the whole shift and a big washing machine; just a different kind of noise.  I will mostly be setting up for the next day and cleaning.  Set up is pretty simple; you take the frozen premade goods; place them on a rack and you throw it in the oven; pretty simple. After that we take the dirty pans; throw them into the washer and the rest is like washing dishes and cleaning and drying the floor.  I also degreased a huge walk in oven yesterday; which was pretty cool.  And so far I like the people in the bakery; they seem chill.  The bakery  manager seems easy going and the guy who was training me yesterday seemed nice and was patient. Although I sort of felt he was talking to me as if I was stupid but maybe I am just hyper sensitive about those things.  Today I mostly worked with this young girl and she was pretty nice too; we did some huge cookie orders. And I found the more I did the task; the more confident I became and I can work quicker. I was actually end of the break room towards the end of my shift and I was talk to one of the cashiers and told her they moved me to the bakery.  She sort of chuckled; like she knew how rough it was. But she told that moving me there was a good thing. If I show them how hard of a worker I am; they might keep me ( because I am seasonal) and that was exciting news; I am determined to the best I can because I really want this job.

The main problem I have is that I am just slower than others and learning disabled; I process things differently and it takes me longer to learn. I also get more mentally exhausted than most; due to all of the noise and activity of Costco; it is a very busy place; I have never worked in a place like this. The one thing I noticed is that is non-stop at Costco; from the moment I walk in until I punch out; I am constantly on the go; I don’t slack and I never see anyone slacking; which again is a first.  Right now I am so tired but also proud of myself; I am doing really well overall

Yesterday I had a 30 day review and they had some good things to say and noted some ways of improving.   They said that they could see that I was a really hard worker and I maintained the outside well, got along with my co-workers and customers. I come in on time and haven’t called out and I act professional; good things.  They noticed that I wasn’t moving quick enough and part of that is that I was sick for quite awhile and I am just getting over my cold but I am slower and I am going to work on just having a “sense of urgency; as they call it.  They also said I engaged in idle chit-chat; which means I have conversations just standing there; which is not something I noticed. Maybe I did that and didn’t realize it; like talking to the cashier and not engaging with the customer; which is surprising to me because  I am always chatting with customers and asking if they need help.  I had a review with two supervisors and one of them said they had no problem with me; and even though I thought that was good; I also said to myself ” does that mean other supervisors DO have a problem with me”  That old anxiety.   But they also said that everyday I was improving. At the end one of the supervisors said that there was a new store opening and there would be some vacant spots at the Costco I am; they might call me in March; which is semi optimistic; I guess. I just knew that they wouldn’t keep me at the point but you never know.

I just pray to God that whatever happens; he’ll protect me. I am fortunate that I have family and friends who are real supportive and are rooting for me; that makes a huge difference.  I am just a real determined person and I refuse to give up or let my anxiety get the best of me.   I am blessed to be at this job right now and out of Sears and getting paid so much; I have nothing but gratitude. And whatever happens happens; it’s all in God’s plan at this point. With that I bid you a good night.

Thanks for listening



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I have a Youtube channel

I just wanted all my followers to know that I just started a Youtube channel; it’s just started and am working on making high quality videos where I talk about mental health and writing.  I hope that you guys will subscribe because I am really starting to enjoy making videos and connecting with people.  Thank you so much for the support.




Friends forever

Courtney had just moved to Michigan from sunny California; her dad got a new job at the Auto Plant and she wasn’t too happy about the move. “What about the warm weather and the beach and all of my friends?” she exclaimed when her father broke the news of the move. Her mother shrugged her shoulders and said “Courtney, honey, the move will be good for us; Dad will be making more money and we’re moving to a bigger house and hey, it’s an adventure, right” Courtney walked away in annoyance realizing she had no choice in the matter but she was sad to leave her best friend; Amanda. What will I do with her?” ; she thought. The move was in 2 weeks and she turned to the one comfort in her life; her journal. Writing was her refuge from the loneliness and sadness she faced ; like most teenagers feel from time to time. As the days passed; she let her friends know about the move but waited to talk to Amanda; this would be a tough one. After a week sit sat down with her best friend since 2nd grade and explained that she had to move; the two talked for a long time; cried, hugged and said their goodbyes; Courtney promised they’d keep in touch online and they could text anytime; Amanda nodded her head; wiping a tear from her eyes and the two parted ways; mostly liked forever.

A week later Courtney found herself in a strange place; in a new town and a new school; where she didn’t know anyone; it was scary. She’d never left the palm trees and hills of Southern California in all her life; except when she visited her Grandma and cousins in Arizona. Courtney started school; visibly nervous and full of self-doubt. She had trouble meeting new people and had few friends; she was shy and preferred a good book to a house party. The first day of school was worse than she even expected; no one talked to her. The teacher introduced her and no one bother to look up to greet her; some girls laughed at her because she was wearing shorts and a short sleeved t-shirt in the dead of winter; they didn’t have time to buy winter clothes and of course didn’t need it in California. Courtney walked by herself to the cafeteria where every seat was taken and none of the other students didn’t look to happy to see her; so she sat by herself. Courtney never felt so lonely in her life and all she wanted to do was go back home to L.A. After lunch Courtney found a corner in an empty hallway and just cried her eyes out in complete despair. All of sudden you heard a male voice; “are you ok, he asked?” She composed herself; embarrassed that this boy had found her crying alone and to top it off; she thought he was pretty cute. She told him all about the move and all the girls that laughed at her. He said his name was Tony. He told her not to worry and gave her his phone number and said he would meet her after school to walk her home or hang out; whatever she wanted to do. Her heart raced at the prospect of this boy wanted to spend time with her; all through out the day she kept staring at the clock in anticipation. Finally it was 3:00 pm and the end bell rang and she headed to the door; along with the rest of the student population.

She hurried to the place where Tony said he’d meet her and 5 minutes passed and then 15 and then 30 minutes; she became distraught; asking any passerby if they knew a Tony; they just ignored her. As she panicked she felt a snowflake; she had never seen snow in all her life and she was freezing; waiting for Tony to meet her. By the time it had been 45 minutes; she gave up; beginning to cry again; she had been stood up; she began to feel angry that they had moved her all the way to Michigan; angry at herself for being so socially awkward. As she turned to walk home in defeat; she heard the sound of those girls that had laughed at her earlier; she felt so intimidated by them. She turned around her heart dropped to the floor when she saw Tony with one of the girls; laughing; with his arm around her; then to her dismay; she saw them kiss; how much more humiliation could she take? And as Tony looked in the distance he saw and whispered in the girl’s ear and the rest of the group erupted in laughter; at her expense; obviously.

She shook her head in disbelief; never had she been treated so cruelly and certainly never from a guy she liked. As she walked home the snowfall became heavier and she could feel her face and hands turn red. She thought to herself “This place is so cold and I don’t mean the weather” All of a sudden from the corner of her eye she saw a big bird fly by; it was a large owl; she had never seen one up close and it was so beautiful; majestic and wise. The owl just sat there on the fence and stared at her in curious; both in awe of each other. Courtney felt all that loneliness fly away as soon as the owl showed up; “I will call you Sadie” exclaimed Courtney; as if the owl could understand her. Courtney leaned close to the owl and amazingly enough the owl stood still while Courtney buried her head in the owl’s fur; the sweet owl was keeping her warm. “For now you’ll be my only friend Ms Owl”; the owl hooted in delight. From that point on Courtney and Sadie met every day after school; finding comfort in each other and enjoying each other’s company. Friends are forever Courtney said and the owl replied who who me? Yes you Courtney said with a laugh. A there a strong bond was made which no one could break and both their lives would be forever changed.

David Aguilera| Photographer: Katerina Plotnikova


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Best Relationships, Strongest Friendships.

Reblogged. Great post about friendship!

Perfectly Imperfect Blog

They are going to call you up on the phone just to ask how you’re doing.

The people who see you texted them and answer immediately.

They are the ones who clear whatever schedule they have if you need them.

Always making you their priority.

The ones who don’t mind paying sometimes because they know you have the next one. And neither of you are keeping score. The ones who are meeting you halfway with everything.

They are your loudest laugh.
Your funniest moments.
Sometimes your best and most embarrassing story.

The rock you need when things are shaky in your life.
They are the support when you’re doubtful.
The encouraging words when you’re being hard on yourself.

They are the ones whose families will feel like your own.

When I love you gets said so carelessly and easily.
And you don’t wonder if they feel the same way.


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