Tag: understanding

Why is compassion a feminine trait?

I was having dinner by myself and as usual I ate too much. I could feel the discomfort as my stomach ached; in the moment a sudden memory came up about something that happened about 15 years ago. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a lot of issues with my stomach. I have a history of constant stomach pain and life has been difficult as a result; it’s hard to hold a job or go on a date and road trips are out of the question.  One night when I was 20 or so, I was with a group of people and my stomach was hurting really bad.  No one seemed to care that I was in discomfort and didn’t take the time to make me feel better or ask why I was so sick.  For some reason I decided I was going to stay at this dude’s house to take some medicine and sleep off the sickness. To be honest, he had this really cute girlfriend that I liked  and that may have been the reason why I didn’t have a problem staying ( wrong I know).  Anyways I remember we were at the house and the guy just went straight to bed. He could have cared less about how sick I was, he was like whatever dude, stop whining.  But his girlfriend was really concerned. She gave me some stomach meds, put me on the couch and wrapped a blanket around me; it was a really sweet moment. We sat and watched Sex and the City, which doesnt get more girly than that. I wasn’t paying attention, I was just happy someone cared and was willing to sit with me until I felt better. I think it’s moments like where I gained so much respect for women. Women listened to me; they were there for me when i was sad or in extreme stomach pain.  Women were my friends and didn’t abandon me when I needed them. Men on the other hand, see me being sick as a weak trait. Strong men don’t sit on the couch watching girly tv shows; being cared for by a woman; like a little child. Men are out there playing sports or at the bar; drinking beer after beer and talking as loudly as possible. So it’s hard for me to relate to men and to be honest I times, I don’t perceive myself as strong; i see myself as feminine.  If you were as sick as me, you might not seem strong either.  I’ve learn to accept being perceived as feminine; if it means I can be compassionate, I can try to understand others feelings and I can express my own feelings without regret.  I feel a lot of men read my posts probably see me as less than a man, but I say that I am proud of who I am. I am proud I can relate to women, I am that I don’t have to constantly prove my manliness because I am who I am. I just can’t spend my whole life trying to be something I am not and that is a relief in a society that has such a narrow view of masculinity. Thanks for listening

 

Dave