I want to make make a post about mother’s day since it is almost here. I want to first say that I would be lying if I said my relationship with my mother has been perfect; it has been difficult for both of us. I think we are a lot alike which I think has caused some conflict; but it certainty has improved; especially I started sharing my writings and my mom is seeing another side of me; a side I don’t express to anyone. My mom is my biggest fan and I couldn’t be happier; all my life she has been my biggest advocate; fighting to get me the doctors I needed and to get me the accommodations for my learning disabilities. Nobody has fought harder for me than my mom; no one. So while we didn’t always get along I admire my mother because she is a strong woman. That’s probably why I admire women who speak their minds and live their own lives. I have never been one to think women should relegated to just cleaning the house or cooking; they can and should do whatever they put their minds too. I have the respect for women mainly because of her. My parents raised two difficult children and did the best she could despite the difficult circumstances. She grew up in a tough environment and I have always thanked her for not repeating the patterns of the past; it takes en extraordinary person to not continue the cycle and I commend her for that. As i have grown older and gained more respect for my mom; I also appreciate all the other mothers. It must be a tough job to be a mom; a lot of hard work; sleepless nights; phone calls from the school ( my mom had plenty of those) the pain of birth; all things I can’t imagine. But to bring another person into this world; to love and care for them and watch them grow up is an amazing thing. The world is a cold place but it’s nice to know that for some of us; we can always rely on our moms for love and support. Besides my mom I always felt I was surrounded by women who gave me maternal support; women who loved and protected me as I grow up; just another reason for me to have to the upmost respect for mothers and woman in general. I thought of them as angels at the time. So to my mom ( who reads my blog everyday) Happy mother’s day and thank you and I love you so much. Thank for always been there for me on my tough days; listening to me; supporting me and accepting me who I am. I hope I was able to express in this post how I feel and for you understand how much you mean to me. And to all the other mothers I happen to know; thank you for all you do. I may not be married or have kids but I really admire you .
You have a friend in me
I connect with a lot of people on social media who are caring for a child with Autism; I also am studying the developmental disability field; so I am highly aware of the issues and challenges that those who have autism and their caretakers face. So I was scrolling through my newsfeed and came across a friend who was describing her son’s reaction to being diagnosed with Autism. I felt amazed by hearing her story and how she cares for her son who happens to have Autism. I asked if I could share this story on my blog and she kindly said it wasn’t a problem; I always try to be sensitive and protect people’s anonymity. What is also interesting to note that I happened to be at my internship; an agency that helps those that have Autism among other disabilities; I thought it was fitting I would be reading it at that very moment. Anyways here is what she wrote:
On the drive to horse therapy **** and I were discussing autism and how some kids can feel uncomfortable when they realize they have it and that it’s often accompanied with anxiety and sensory issues. He responded, “I didn’t feel uncomfortable when you told me I had autism and an anxiety disorder. I guess autism is kind of a package deal huh mom? You buy the autism and get the anxiety and sensory issues for free. You know, three for the price of one?” This boy makes me smile so much, his outlook, his acceptance of himself and other children. I reached into the back seat and held his hand and told him what a lucky mom I am to have him as my child ❤ I adore his perspective!
I just got some sad news from back home that a friend of mine who i grew up with just lost his father. I haven’t seen him since I was around 12 years old ( 23 years. Was it really that long ago?) While I haven’t seen him in many years and I never met his father; I have a deep sadness for my friend and his family and it has bothered me ever since I heard the news. And I think it bothers me because it makes me realize that life is short and that our loved ones will not be here forever. I am blessed enough to still have my parents around; in fact due to health and financial reasons I live with them. So I see them everyday; I am emotionally attached to them and I can’t imagine life without them. I am especially close with my father who i consider to me my hero; someone I hold in highest regard far above anyone else. Knowing my friend has lost his father is a reminder that sometime in the future I will be in his place and that scares the hell out of me. I am so lucky to have had the father I did. A father that never pushed me to be something I wasn’t; he accepted me. A father who taught me the value of hard work but understood that due to my disabilities; sometimes just showing up to work is enough. A father who says he loves me everyday and I do the same with plenty of hugs. A father that taught me that toughness means beating the odds and being emotionally strong; not just solely muscles or athletic ability. He may have played sports but he never pushed me to do the same. A father who reads my poetry and doesn’t see it as weak; in fact he has read everything I’ve written and I know he is proud. But I don’t think he realizes how proud I am of him. A man who came to this country at 12 years old, with no money; couldn’t speak the language; living a bad neighborhood but got himself a college education and provided my brother and I with a life that my grandfather couldn’t have dreamed of in Cuba; I am damn proud of him!! There is no one I look up to more than my father. And his achievements mean much less to me than the man that he is. My father is kind to everyone; he treats everyone as equals and it is something I try to apply in my own life. In fact, I would say my father is one of the kindest people I have known in my life; which is why I could care less about someone’s job and pay more attention to how they treat people; that’s what makes a man. If you can’t be bothered to respect people then you can’t call yourself a man. I wish I was the half the man my father was, but I can only be me. And while I haven’t been the best son; my father has been there for me. I can go to my father about almost anything and be straight with him; others may judge me but my father doesn’t. I think as I have grown older; we have learned to understand each other better and become closer. My father has never let me down even though I have let him down more times to count with hurtful words or stupid decisions. After all the mistakes I’ve made; my father never gave up on me. Sometimes it felt like the whole world gave up on but not my father; nope. So this is my way of expressing my gratitude for having such a great dad; I am truly blessed and at times don’t deserve to have such a loving father and I think I take it for granted. I’m realizing that life is short and I should take the time to appreciate my father while I still can. It would be selfish to say I wanted my father here forever but I do want him in my life for a long time. Thank you, dad. I love, you.
I am at a point where I have stopped watching the news aside from skimming the headlines, because it is simply too depressing and I already struggle with my mental health. Everyday there seems to be another murder or assault. Almost every few months another mass shooting, or threats of a shooting or bombing; the violence never seems to end in this country. There is so much anger and hate in our society that I struggle to understand where it all comes from. Sometimes it’s an angry gun nut from the hills, other times a passing motorist in the city gets out his car and shoots someone for no apparent reason, or it’s the daily interactions in my personal life; that angry coworker who can’t stop slamming things or staring me down and I’ve yet to figure out what causes this rage.
The question is how did we get this way? I realize that anger is not exclusive to the United States but it seems ( At least in the West) that America seems to be such a hostile country. A country that seems to hate anyone who is different; immigrants, gays, minorities, any group that doesn’t fit their “Ideal” America. Anytime someone advocates with change in this country they are met with furious anger and threats. Just look at the history every person who called for peace and equality they were gunned down. In an 18 year period, you had the murder of a President in broad daylight in front of hundreds of people ( including children) , the murder of countless civil rights leaders including Martin Luther King, Malcom X, Medgar Evers, the murder of 3 student civil rights workers in Mississippi; then in 1968 the murder of JFK’s brother, Robert, as he was running for President, the murder of John Lennon ( A musician and someone who spoke out for peace) and the attempted assassination of President Reagan So the violence isn’t new, we have a long history of it.
I look at other Western nations; particularly Europe;and I ask myself how they manage to pass and enforce strict gun control and also have hate speech laws making racists accountable for their ugly statements against minorities. I am not saying Europe or any other nation is perfect and they have their share of violence, but I am saying is that in America the violence seems to go unabided. The President will get on television say he is with the family and we are mourning, but takes no action to address the fact that guns are too easily accessible or to question the violent nature of our country. Congress refuses to enact any legislation that will take guns away from ordinary citizens even when school children are being gunned down in massive numbers.
I am not saying we should get rid of guns because I know that would never happen, I am saying that no one needs an AR-15 for protection. I am saying that parents and children shouldn’t have to live in fear when they send their children off to school in the morning. I was doing training at work and one of the modules was about an active shoot situation and I thought to myself, only in this country. We are so violent that we are learned to accept this as a part of life, I wonder if they have these modules in Europe or Canada. I am just so sick of all this damn violence and I feel hopeless and I just don’t know what to do. I mean, there are so many of us pleading for the government to do something and they remain silent, while children are dying; literally. And what is their answer to the gun violence? It’s mental health issue and maybe we should arm teachers. Great idea. That’s like saying we have a drug problem in our community and the only way to solve this is to add more drugs; complete madness, devoid of logic. I agree that mental health plays a role in these mass shootings but it takes a gun to kill people ( in fact the only purpose of a gun is to kill). Without the gun, the mentally ill person can’t shoot anyone. I don’t have anything left to say but living in this country feels hopeless and the only solution to escape the violence is to leave; I wish I could. I wish I had the money and resources so I could leave forever, there is no reason to stay here. I certainly wouldn’t want to raise a child in such a hateful and violent country, where I’d have an anxiety attack every time my child would leave the house. Lastly I know a lot of people will disagree with my statements but if you can refrain from violent threats and trolling that would be much appreciated. I know you disagree with me but there is no call to be hateful about it.
Peace, love and harmony,
How many more have to die, how many more mothers have to cry; seeing their children lay lifeless on the pavement from a gunshot wound, we need your help and we need it soon. They are helpless children in a Godless world, a girl mourning for her friends, the violence never ends and all you can do is send thoughts and prayers, a society that doesn’t care about those laying dead and ignoring what all of us have said about guns, hasn’t enough damage been done? When will people wake up from this dream, it seems nothing will ever change and I get angrier as I age, at this moment I am filled with rage that our lawmakers do nothing as innocent people die, I can’t figure out why they allow this happen, it saddens me to no end. In the US of A we have to live in fear, not here in this so called free land; it makes me so sad, so mad. No words left today to say but there has to be a way to solve this, this can’t go on unabided, so I’ve decided to the only thing I know how to do and that write in hopes I might change at least one person’s mind and we can find a solution.
Peace, love and Harmony,
Barron Trump: Dad I had a bad day; i need a hug.
Donald Trump: Not now son, daddy’s busy actively destroying Barack Obama’s Presidency and i am also planning to bulldoze a whole city block in an impovished neighborhood while simutaniously cat calling women on the street. Its going to a busy week. How about a brief 10 second hug in front of news camera two weeks from Thursday. Sound ok, champ?