A funeral

I listened to the Unplugged in New York album over and over again, a last gasp, a funeral with flowers layed out, I searched for clues,,, all these years, I still don’t have an answer. 😥

 

Image may contain: 1 person, on stage, playing a musical instrument, guitar and night

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April 8 1994 ( Foreshadowing)

You know those days in your life that will never forget, well this is one of them, a day that would shape the rest of my life, although I didn’t know it at the time. It was the morning of April 8th, 1994 and I woke up and tuned my little radio to DC101 and they were playing Nirvana’s lithium and for some reason I felt somber but I didn’t know why. At the time I knew of Nirvana but I didn’t pay a lot of attention to them, I saw their funny “In Bloom” video where it looked like they were on the Ed Sullivan show but I didn’t understand the impact, I was 12.  I went to school and I came home; like every kid at that time; and flipped the tv to MTV.  Breaking News: Lead singer of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, found dead in his Seattle of home of a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head. That may have been the first time I had heard about someone killing themselves. Before that moment the idea of suicide never crossed my mind, so I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It wasn’t even about the music but this man who was so depressed that he couldn’t bear to live. I ran outside to meet my brother and our neighbor up the hill. I ran and I told him this Kurt Cobain had died and I find this moment to be extremely painful since my brother took his life 3 years later. It haunts me to this day, that moment I told him, truly a moment of foreshadowing. So we went to our neighbors house and watched MTV all day for news and all day they played Nirvana’s music.  That’s when the impact hit me, that’s when I realized how important their music was and what we lost when Kurt took his life. I remember the next day our family went to the mall but all I felt was depressed. I just sat there obsessively thinking about why this man would take his life. I didn’t even know this man yet I felt for him. Years later I would learn how sensitive Kurt Cobain was and how I could relate to him on a deep level; from his feminist views, to his views on social justice or his severe stomach issues, my heart breaks for him just like my heart broke for my brother who was also sensitive. After that day I bought all Nirvana’s albums combing for clues.  Kurt’s death was a mystery to me and still is..    All I know is that April 8th is a day I will never forget as long as I live..