Unplugging from a digital world

I need unplug from this digital whirlwind and get back to living, I need to feel the warmth of the sun of my back, the wind tickling my skin, the sound of the birds provide the soundtrack, this music makes my heart skip a beat, the grass and sky with highlighted greens and blues, nature in rich technicolor. Feeling closer to God, he provides simplicity and helps me quiet my mind from the chaotic thoughts and constant worries. Here we talk, he listens, I feel at peace. God’s presence calms me and as I write this, I feel the wind blow as if he’s comforting me or just letting know he’s here. Just some thoughts as I unplug, get back to nature and take some time to talk to God today.

 

Note- I also added my second Podcast during my nature walk.  Please take a listen.

 

https://anchor.fm/revolutionary-musings/episodes/Unplugging-from-a-digital-world-e3ghb1/a-abvhdh

 

 

 

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People who care

I made a blog earlier about the difficulties I was having in school with my math course, I didn’t get the support I need and now I am so far behind that I can’t possible pass this course. I have no choice at the moment to withdraw; a part of me feels like failure even though everyone around me says that I did the best I could, a part of me feels stupid because I really wanted to pass this course. So I was volunteering the other day and during my lunch break, I was talking to some of the staff of the disabled ministry, I was telling them about my situation and they were appalled that I couldn’t receive the help I needed and how I just need to one class to pass and I’m being held back, and it’s important to note that I’m an honor student, so I am highly capable of making it through college.  The people I were talking asked me to bring my math notebook, so they can see the kind of math problems I’m dealing with. They offered to tutor me a little and get me up to speed for my next class, I was amazed. I was amazed that people would take the time to help me, someone they’ve only known for a few months.  I am going to take them up on their offer because I need all the help I can get.  I have been hurt so much by people in the past, it’s easy to forget that there are good people out there, people who care.   And tonight, I went to a dinner with the same disabled ministry and I saw the leader of the group who had been out town, she asked me about school and I told her how frustrated I was and how I am going to drop out. I told her I was going to school to speak with the disability counselor and she offered to go with me and advocate and I really think that would be a good idea. She Is known in the community, she’s a pretty tough lady in the sense that she would hold them accountable for not giving me the proper accommodations, she also cares about me and sees how passionate I am about helping the disabled, she knows how much I want this degree and how I will use to make a difference in people’s lives.  I am just so blessed because I know God is working in my life through this group and I know I’ll be ok

 

So, on another note I am also getting a lot of online support. I added a bunch of writers and mental health advocates to my Facebook page, I have over 3,000 friends on there. And since I use my social media for advocacy and network (in fact I have managed to give my link of my blog to several people and they loved it), it makes no difference whether I know them personally or not.  So since I have added all these people, I have had an influx of messages and comments and reactions, so much so that I can barely keep up, all of it positive, a lot of people are inspired by my writing which is really heartwarming to me that they are positively affected by it and I can tell how many people said that my writing has made a difference in their lives; that is an honor. On top the comments about my writing, I also talk a lot about mental health and gotten so much support, it’s overwhelming. I have several people who are life coaches’ message me, one woman offered to do a Facebook video call and I will do that very soon, another person invited to participate in mental health workshop online.

So, all these wonderful things are happening and it feels like mental health advocacy is a big part of my life and I am connecting with thousands of people and getting my message across, it is a feeling that indescribable to me.  Only about 1 year and half ago I felt totally isolated, I wasn’t writing or connected with anyone, I wasn’t open about my struggles and kept my feelings to myself.  I still can’t believe the responses I get, 50 ,60 comments a day, hundreds of likes, I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging, I just am amazed.  I like metaphors, it’s like a poor guy all of sudden winning the lottery. I was totally alone one minute and now I have all this attention and it’s hard to handle. I mean, I wanted it but I’m not used to it.   But like I said earlier, people care, for the first time in my life I feel like people are listening to what I have to say. As if my all pent-up feelings are being validated by so many people who feel the same way I do and can relate. I felt like I was the only one for all my life and now I realize I am not. I was put down all my life and now I receive more praise than I can handle.  How does one deal with all that sudden change? I don’t know. But that’s for this blog, I am happy to have a place to express all of their feelings. I thank all my followers for being so supportive and will keep everyone updated.

 

Thanks for listening

Dave

 

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Gratitude

I wanted to take this Sunday to talk a little bit about gratitude. Sometimes I complain       a lot and I focus on my struggles and forget about the many blessings I have in my life and even small things can blessings.  I was able to attend church today and also help assist with a special needs Sunday school where a young guy about 14 was there. He’s really cool; he loves arts and crafts and is very talkative; all around nice kid.  It is a blessing to be asked to be a part of that class; it gives me a reason to wake up on a Sunday morning; a sense of purpose. I work a long side a nice woman who one of the  leaders of the disabled ministry; I have known her for a few months and I am starting care about everyone involved in that group; they are wonderful people who have God in their hearts. The main theme for class this month is serving others; putting the needs of others above our own; which is something we all could learn.  I think God calls for all of us to help one another and today we also talked about the fact that God gives us all gifts that we can use to serve others.  Not only is this class helping this young man but it’s helping me.  We watched a short video about a guy who had a job stocking and everyone came to him with their problems because he listened and cared; he realized that was his gift that God had given him.   It was like God was speaking me and that moment and making me realize that MY gift as well.  I listen to what the young adults at the disabled ministry say; I speak them on their level; they can tell I care.  I empathize and care when I interact with my people on social media. I am not bragging but I can’t tell you how many people message me and want to talk about what’s going om and I listen and I don’t judge and I encourage them; I do it because it feels good to be there for other people.  I look at caring about others and being there for them as a gift and I can’t take the credit; God gave this to me. And I am grateful for the opportunity to be there for others in so many ways.  To be there is nothing that makes me happier than to that I can make difference in someone’s like by simply listening  or writing something that resonates with them.  Like I said earlier; I am not patting myself on the back but God gave me this unique ability to show empathy and I want to use it. For the longest time; I chose to hide my gifts; my sensitivity, my caring nature, being compassionate and now I am not afraid to show it. I don’t care if it make me seem to weak some people; I am going to be who I am.

After Sunday school I walked with everyone to service and sat with the disabled ministry; again so much to gratitude to be included. As the sermon was going and all of sudden I had another burst of gratitude; just the fact that I was able to attend church was a blessing in and of itself. I can’t tell you how many Sundays I worked; so depressed that I was missing church. I wanted to be a part of a church community and hear the word of God among all the church members and I couldn’t. I feel robbed of having that time with God. Sure, I could have watched the sermon online but it isn’t the same as being part of a church community.  So I looked up and thanked God for the ability to just sit in a pew and listen to a sermon; it’s the only upside to being unemployed. Most people take it for granted; going to church; but not me.  God is good and he is working in my life; I don’t have anything else but gratitude today.

Thanks for listening

Dave

 

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Serving others

I just wanted to make a short post about the disabled ministry. I know I talk them about them a lot but they have become an important part of my life and volunteering in this group has been a life changing experience for me. When I feeling down and worthless; I think of the fact that I making a difference in this world; simply by being kind and giving my time and heart to this group. I also am happy to meet fellow Christians who have Jesus in their lives who are kind and understanding and most importantly they don’t seem judgmental; they have welcomed with open arms when I felt so unwelcome in many other places.

Today my stomach was bothering me and I was volunteering but I decided to go home but I did help set up for this lunch that we serve for the community. While I was helping with the lunch; one of the young adults walked up to me and handed me a piece of paper and said “I colored this for you”.  It was a very sweet gesture and I was touched that she gave me that; it means that I am having an impact on them; that I mean something to the group. It may seem small to someone else but to me it’s a big deal to me. I mean, only do I impact them but they impact me as well. I feel God is giving me a purpose and I am grateful and blessed every time I am around them. The world is a cold place and not everyone is nice but I always feel needed when I am the ministry; that is important to me.  That’s all I have to say. I will end by saying the only way to help ourselves to help others. Find a way in your community to serve others and you’ll see how much your life will change for the better. Take care, friends

 

Dave

 

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God loves us all

As a Christian; I love and accept everyone even those that don’t believe in God or who are from a different religion. I don’t care who you love, the color of your skin, the language you speak or your political views. I love and accept everyone because we are all children of God and that what he expects us to do; to love one another. It’s sad that Christians are painted with a broad brush and deemed hateful and intolerant. Some are ; for sure; but not all. Some of us accept everyone; we are not on a mission to moralize or point the finger. I am more on mission to let others know how much God loves them and that no matter what they have done in life; God forgives us and only asks that we trust him. May God bless you today. Amen 🙏🙏🙏

 

 

Dream #6

I haven’t been sleeping well lately and last night I finally slept the while night through for about 8 hours (which is a rarity); I had a nice long vivid dream. As soon as I woke up, I immediately wrote down the dream; the best I could remember.

The dream started out at a funeral for a little boy that had died; it was large crowd and I was feeling upset; I could feel myself start to cry. I was carrying a box which I think had his ashes; I almost dropped it a few times and people kept looking at me; I was really nervous. I placed the box on the altar and afterward we were standing on these big steps outside of the church; just talking.  Then I was with the disabled ministry and we were in a shopping center and close to an abandoned warehouse.  We were just hanging out there for some reason; one of the leaders was there but in the dream she looked different. I keep trying to talk to her but she was ignoring me; in fact, everyone seemed to be ignoring me. At the end of the shopping bar was like a biker bar and there were all these tough guys walking in. There was some woods to the side of the bar; full of trash.  I was talking to one of the young adults there; I was asking him how his job was going etc.  I had to go the bathroom so I was looking for a place to go; I went in the woods and came back and everyone was in the same area; gathered in a circle just talking.  At one point I was just walking around and I think I was in a house.  I was still concerned about the leader who was ignoring me.   All of a sudden, I was laying on the floor and I saw an old childhood friend. In the background the song “Under the Bridge” by the Red-Hot Chili Peppers was playing.  That song reminds me of my brother who passed away.  In the dream I said to my friend “This reminds me of Joe” He said quietly, I know, man, and gave me a hug.   Next, we were all back outside and I had to use the bathroom again. I went back in the woods and when I returned; everyone was still there. I got bored went to the abandoned building by myself and it some graffiti and there were some kids skateboarding.  I came back and everyone was gone; I was concerned. I was looking everywhere and couldn’t find them.  I ended up in an office building and trying calling them on their cell phones but to no avail.  I walked through a nature path and they were nowhere to be found. I was feeling angry and hurt and literally abandoned.

I woke up kind of shaken; trying to find meaning in this dream.  All I know is that maybe   Even as I write this, I am emotional about; it was such an intense dream with so many interpretations.   I have to remind it was only a dream and I am ok.

 

Thanks for reading

Dave

Sunday school

Earlier this week; I was helping with the disabled ministry and I was asked by one of the leaders if I could help assist with a special needs Sunday school class. I was honored that they thought I’d be a good fit; it was also exactly what I needed to get of my depressive funk; I was really excited about it.  Well. my first Sunday school assisting was this morning at 9:30.  It was pretty easy; the church had set up the lesson and all we had to was follow the guide.  The class only had one person attending and he was young man about 14 years old; he was great. He kind of shy and quiet; a lot like I was at that age but very bright. He has some special needs and I am so glad there is a Sunday school that serves him; there is a class for children, teens and adults ( the same adults that participate in the disabled ministry); I will be assisting in the teen class.  We wrote some things on the dry erase board; the theme being serving others ( which is what church is about, right?)  We watched a video about Jesus washed the feet of his disciples during Passover and how Jesus expects us the wash the feet of others. It’s a metaphor of course for serving the needs of others.  Jesus wants us to put others before ourselves and that will make us great in his eyes; an important message.  We did some arts and crafts; which he loved.   I just feel so great right now and blessed to be able to assist and be there for those at church with special needs. I believe this is God’s calling for me.  Happy Sunday to all my followers; may God bless you today.

 

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Author’s challenge 2019

This is my a bio I am making for the Author’s challenge of 2019

 

Hello #writingcommunity I’m doing the #authorschallenge2019 today. David is a yet to be published author and mental health/disability advocate. He has been blogging for almost two years; writing on subjects ranging from disabilities, mental health, grief, suicide, poetry, social justice, Spirituality ( as opposed to religion) and gender roles. David uses writing to uplift and encourage others who are suffering from depression and other mental illnesses and hopes to spread a message of love and acceptance. The goal is to continue to advocate for marginalized people and to publish his work in the coming years. David is looking forward to connecting with others positively in the writing community.

My bio for 2019 😀

 

 

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Today was a better day

Yesterday I made a post on my blog and Facebook about the fact that I’ve been suffering from a pretty bad depressive state.  I had been doing pretty good and felt I had made a lot of progress but I slipped back in depression once I lost my job. And first off let me just say I am so amazed at all the supportive comments and message; unbelievable how many people care; it warms my heart; it makes me feel less alone and that its ok to express my pain so openly. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. Anyways  last night I got a message from one of the leaders of the disabled ministry asking if I could volunteer today; I knew it was exactly what I needed to get out of my head. I just needed to get out of the house and around people and the ministry is perfect. I’m part of a caring group and my depression subsides when I am helping others; I feel I am useful and needed.  I really love this group; they are so kind to me and they always tell me how good I am with the disabled adults. I love being around them; they are a lot of fun and it gives me a chance to practice kindness, patience, love and I always grow in my faith as well. We have bible studies and pray before meals and it just a generally positive place and it helps me through my depression.

 

So today I volunteered; we had lunch and afterwards broke up into seminars; each little group doing their own thing. I was a part of a fitness group; we did about 30-minute workout with stretching, jumping jacks, a medicine ball; it was like being in gym class again; a lot of fun. And in all that time I didn’t think about my depression; I was just focused on trying to be a good volunteer; being patient with them and laughing with them; it was a good time.

After the volunteering I stopped to get a cup of coffee at this little coffee place in the downtown area; I love it.  It over looks the downtown; the coffee is great and it always filled with people; a perfect place to write. They have this little attic area and I found a cozy spot and just drank my coffee; I made a little vlog. As soon as I got up to leave; I saw one of the leaders walk up; he told me they were having a staff meeting. I didn’t want to intrude but he was like “No, you can stay”.   I was happy to sit and listen. They talked about a Christian conference they went to do and the message of Christ and how we can apply that to those that are developmentally disabled. They talked about ways of expanding the organization and improving the lives of the disabled adults we serve. I was really impressed and had no idea everything that went into how this ministry was run; it gave me a lot of insight. I was able to chime in with some ideas as well.   It was a blessing to be with them during this discussion.

 

I am one that doesn’t believe in coincidences and even though I am struggling; I know God is working in my life. I happened to be in that coffee shop for a reason; they just happened to be there right there as I was about to leave and sitting at the very table I was at. They could have sat down somewhere else and I would have missed them but it didn’t happen that way. For those who may not have faith; they may not get it; but it’s clear to me.  God is not subtle when he gives me signs. And this ministry is my calling; working with these young adults is something I am passionate about.  I take comfort in knowing God is taking care of me and giving me this opportunity to serve others.  I am just smiling right now and so grateful that I had a much better day today.

 

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Volunteering again

Today was such a great day; I started up volunteering again with the disabled ministry; after losing my job and feeling rejected I really needed this. As usual it went great; they were so happy to see me and I missed them so much.  I have written about it several times I love this ministry. The disabled ministry is a Christian organization through the church I attend.  They do bible study, do community works and go on trips; it such a wonderful organization.  On Thursdays they help serve lunch at church to those in community; it’s incredible. The volunteers and young adults all set up, prepare food and serve an average of 80-120 people; and it’s run very well.  So anyways I showed up and apparently they are taking a trip to Disney World; which makes me smile because I know they are going to have the time of their lives.  The young adults kept asking me why I couldn’t make the trip; it’s hard for them to understand that I have no money coming in and therefore no trip.  To be honest; it less about me and more about them having a good time.   It just made me smile to know they were so excited about this trip; they deserve to have fun. And they are some of the kindest sweetest people you are ever going to meet.  My main job is to help this young man dry dishes while he washes; we are a great team; we joke around a lot and just have fun; sometimes I just as unfocused as he is; which I guess is sort of a problem but I am working on getting us both on task. Overall this is really good for me and I have grown to care deeply for the young adults ( and their parents), the volunteers,  and the leaders; almost like an extended family.

We finished and I sat down to eat and sat by this woman who was a parent of one of the young adults who  says she likes to write; she’s really smart and wise and has a lot to say. Every time I see her; I ask her how writing is going and she gives me a big smile; I love it. Anyways I was talking to her mom about losing my job and how I was happy to be back. But I was also excited to be getting this scholarship to finish my degree. Then we started talking about writing and I was telling how therapeutic it was for me and how I’m connected with all these writers on my blog and Instagram.  She was telling me how important it was for me to tell my story because it gets other people to open up. And also when we write; we realize that others feel just as we do; we’re not alone; it was a lovely conversation; I usually don’t get a chance to have conversations that like much; which is an incentive to continue to be part of this group.   I just so feel so blessed right now to be back volunteering and giving my time to help others. I just wanted to share this joy with you today.

Thanks for listening,

Dave

 

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What I am listening to at this very moment