When you are troubled and you feel alone, attacked from all sides ( even your own mind), you feel isolated, you feel hopeless, everything is crashing down on you at once and you don’t know where to turn. It seems that no one is there, maybe because you pushed them away, maybe you need the space. But for whatever reason , you are alone and you mind is racing and you find yourself again in that dark place where nothing seems right and everyone is against you, your eyes red from lack of sleep, you feel the exhaustion of overthinking, your body is tense. It’s such an empty desolate feeling when you have to shut the whole world off just to breathe. You’ve been suffocating, carrying the weight of the world and all you want to do into collapse into your bed in your own self-pity. Instead you collapse onto your knees, hands together, eyes closed. You find yourself talking to the one that never abandons you, no matter how bitter you were, no matter how much you turned from him; he was always there. You turn to God because there’s nothing left and in your darkest times is when he’s working the hardest in your life. You pray for strength, for guidance, you pray to forgive yourself and to forgive others; you ask God to bless them and give them everything you’d want in life; protection, love, happiness, success. And suddenly the attacks of your mind slow down, you feel a small sense of ease, your muscle relax and you unclench your teeth. Because I know that through this pain will come salvation and God will never abandon me, I just have to faith that when troubled times arrive soon comes miracles. Amen. 🙏
I was so angry at you, I felt you didn’t love me and you had abandoned me and I had turned my back on you and out of the blue, you showed back up in my life and since you came back, I am happier and have finally found the peace I was searching for, for so many years. I was the one who abandoned you, not the other way around, you never left my side, even when I turned away from you, thank you for loving me unconditionally ❤
I am strong believe in God and Jesus, I struggle with religion but my faith never wavers. Tonight, I had just finished up assisting an English as a second language class and I was thinking about what a blessing it was to help others and I decided to make a quick video in my car at Mcdonalds so I share could to my stories on Facebook. I literally had finished making the video and this woman taps on my car window; I was little startled actually but she asked if I could get her and her boyfriend some food because they were hungry and hadn’t eaten all day; I was taken aback because I always feel nervous when strangers approach me for money or anything and I told her I had no cash ( I know it wasn’t the best response) but she asked if I could go into the Mcdonalds with her and buy her a meal; I agreed.
We walked in and ordered the food; her boyfriend was sitting at a table and I talked with her a little about their situation and she told me how her boyfriend had lost his job and broke his back in some sort of accident and it really hurt them financially; they didn’t have a place to stay. I made some suggestions about shelters, getting financial help and I told them about my church and to contact them because they are actively involved in helping those in the community. They got their food and I wish them luck and spoke to her boyfriend for a bit and went on my way.
As I was driving home, I realized that God was speaking directly too me at that moment, he called on me to help them as I was talking about helping others; his message couldn’t be more clear and I thought it about some more, I started getting teary eyed and when I got home, I talk to my dad and as I was relaying this story, I just cried and cried; they were tears of joy because God loved me so much and he loved those people and he was working through them; giving me the opportunity to help them in a small way by buying them a meal.
I just amazed at how God works and choose someone like me who turned his back on God to help to spread his message. I think all those bible characters who didn’t feel worthy enough to spread God message but he chose them; like Moses ; a stutterer to speak to the Jews in Egypt or tax collectors or prostitutes; people society pushed aside and condemned; God used these people as their messengers because he doesn’t want perfect people; he wants sinners; he wants to save us and he want us to love others as he loves us. I think if everyone know God in that way, the world would be a much better place. God is love.
When I feel I depressed and anxious, I feel like throwing in the towel, I then realize that God’s working in my life and I think of all the blessings he’s given to me, I get gratitude and I always feel better. I think of the times in my life where I felt so low and God spoke to me, either through the people I knew or something as simple as a song on the radio, he was reaching out to me and sometimes I’d ignore it and other times I recognized it right away, looking up at the sky and saying thank you because I knew it was him. So while life won’t ever be easy, I can take comfort in knowing is always God taking care of me and I’ll be alright in the end. I’m feeling blessed at the moment and hope you are as well. Have a beautiful day, friends. God loves you. 🙏 ❤
Instead of reacting with anger, instead, come back with compassion and understanding. Sometimes a knee jerk emotional reaction kicks in when our buttons are pushed, and sometimes our emotions cloud our judgment and we say things that hurt, they cut like a knife, and when the smoke has cleared, we hang out heads in shame about the daggerish words we have used to cut others down, regret is a heavy consequence of this battle of words.
So instead of throwing salt on the wound, I choose love and compassion even though others may be blinded by rage and hurl treacherous words, They say these things because inside they are hurt, they are hurt because I’m finding ways to heal and they are still on the ground in agony. I choose not to hurt them any further. Because bitterness only serves as poison; eating away at my insides, it’s killing me and I just want the poison out of me. I want to love them; although they may hurt me.
We hurt others because we are hurt ourselves, I’m not better, I’m guilty of it, not a day goes by where in someway I haven’t hurt someone, either through my actions or my sharp tongue ( which is my own worst enemy) I pray for redemption and forgiveness. I am not perfect, father but I take comfort in the fact that no matter how far I stray from your path, you’ll lead me back and can give me the strength to have compassion when it seems so damn hard on some days.
I think Christianity and God/Jesus gets a bad rap, a lot of people love to hate Christians, they paint them as overly pious, moralizing, judgmental of anyone who doesn’t fit their “version” of Christianity, they are intolerant of anyone who is different from them, they are hypocrites; preaching one thing and doing another; spouting love and compassion one minute and the next ignoring the new church member beside them looking for a friend in Christ, some Christians. I think these are the things that non-church goers feel and their observations aren’t far from the truth. I feel that way and I consider myself a Christian. Some of the most judgmental people I have met have claimed to Christians, it disheartening and very hurtful.
But here’s where I disagree with the kinds of people who make these statements; they equate God and Jesus with the actions of the church. God is love and accepting of all, God isn’t going to abandon or ignore you like some in the church. But because of the actions of those in the church, it turns many away from God. How can Jesus be love and compassion if these are his followers, that’s difficult for me and I struggle with it.
I have to separate God/Jesus from Church/Religion. You can have God in your life, be in prayer, read the bible, practice the principles of Christianity and never set foot in a church. They say community is vital, worship is necessary but what if you don’t feel accepted?. How can I reach God here when I all I feel is hurt and bitterness? I can forgive but it doesn’t negate the fact that I feel uncomfortable in church settings because I know I’m being judged. I attend church begrudgingly and it sucks up my energy. Instead of making me feel closer to God, I feel further away, as far as I’m concerned he’s somewhere outside in the parking lot.
I don’t think I’ve ever truly, felt welcome at church, well maybe as a kid but not as an adult. I feel coldness and indifference, I feel no one really takes the time to know because they’ve developed their “holy cliques”. It’s like George Carlin used to say “They’re in the club and you ain’t in it”. That’s how I feel, out of place, misunderstood, ignored and people don’t want to know you because they’ve already pegged you as someone they don’t want to talk to, so you stand in the corner as people pass you by like you don’t even exist. Sigh, I wonder how many people have left church or never found God because they felt so unwelcome among these so called accepting Christians. And it’s all because of how we treat each other.
I personally find God in nature by myself, through the conversations I have with others, through miraculous things that defy explanation, through writing/art/music, through prayer, reading the bible and the love of my family but never in the church. But don’t think I’m not a Christian or don’t have God is my life. I love God but I struggle with his children, they’re the problem.
I want to tell a story. Around 2002, I was a new driver and I was following a friend and I failed to stop at a left turn signal, as soon as I turned, I had no time to react and a car smashed into to me at about 45 mph from the drivers side. My car spun and I end up on the median, the car was completely totaled but for some miraculous reason, I didn’t lose consciousness or have any injuries, aside from a sore neck and the shock of the accident.
I was in the hospital and I was really dazed and out of it. But I remember talking to the doctor and him telling me how lucky I was to make it out of there, without a scratch, in fact, if my foot had been a few inches closer, I could have lost it and been disabled for life.
I truly believe God saved my life that night, I don’t know why he did, because I should have been seriously injured, given how fast the other driver was going and the fact that I ran a red light during heavy traffic. Yet for some reason I was spared harm. I believe God spared me because he had a purpose me, to help others, spread compassion, help the disabled, and try to make a difference.
At the time, I didn’t believe in God and it just hit me as I was commenting on someone else’s status. But it shows to power of God and how much he loves me. I can’t tell you how many situations I have been able to escape from by the grace of God, there’s just no other explanation beside God’s grace.
Sometimes if I’m laying in bed, that feeling of that car speeding towards me will hit me and I will jump in fear, like my body never forgot that moment. I am grateful of God’s love for me and am so happy I have him in my life again.
Just wanted to share that with all of you 🙏 ❤
What hurts me the most is that he was a gentle man who preached love and tolerance, who taught us to forgive and love one another, to love our enemies and turn the other cheek when others hurt us and what did they do? They spat on him, they flogged him, mocked him; calling him King of the Jews. And when given a choice between letting this man of love go or two murderers, they chose the murderers. They then made him carry his own cross while continuing to mock him. He was nailed to the cross while those around him shouted ” If you are.the son of God, save yourself and come down from that cross”” all in a mocking tone. But he remained there until finally in a loud voice cried ” Lord why have you forsaken me?”. He could have easily avoided this fate, this pain and humiliation but it had to be done because he died for us, for our sins, so we could have enteral life. Even though he loved us and it needed to be done, the story hurts me so, the lack of humanity of this world. How we hurt the most gentle and loving persons and worship those that hurt others, are spiteful and do nothing to make this world a better place. Jesus is my savior and my friend and forever I will love him. Amen 🙏🙏🙏 ❤
Happy Sunday everyone I hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday and weekend. Well today so far has been great. Last night I got this text from this woman who I help assist Sunday school with, she told me she was out of town and asked if I could still help with the class, I assumed there would be someone with me as usual. She then told asked me if I was comfortable teaching the class by myself. I said of course I would but I was pretty nervous. Even though it’s usually one student, I have never lead a class on my own before but I felt it would be good for me.
Luckily the class already has a lesson plan set up, so I didn’t have to prepare anything ( thank god!) The one student that showed up was this kid, he’s about 14 and he has Autism. He is really cool and just nice, he likes to draw and is easy going. We talked about how God commands us to love each other and to love him. We talked about treating others the way we’d like to be treated and how we have to be kind to other’s even when they aren’t kind to us. We did an activity where I asked him about a time this week when he felt it was hard to be kind to someone, he mentioned this kid at school kept annoying him and I talked about ways that maybe he could be nicer. We then watched a video about God’s love and it was like a sign. It was about a guy who creates a podcast with his Grandma and she talking how God expects us to love. But I thought “hey wait a minute, I just started a podcast not long ago. This can’t be a coincidence. What is God trying to tell me?” Anyways the class was a lot of fun and it went well. I just wanted to make a post about it. Have a good day, friends
I sit by the water, peaceful I can be, trying to quite my mind, trying to find a place to find peace and be alone in my thoughts if just for a little while, and I should smile knowing life is good and I should thank god for moments like these, for nature, for love and his protection above. I sit in prayer without a care in the world enjoying the day, what I’m trying to say is life is short, live it, feel the sun, have fun, for me this poem has run out of steam and im done. Later 🙏✌❤