The love of Jesus

What hurts me the most is that he was a gentle man who preached love and tolerance, who taught us to forgive and love one another, to love our enemies and turn the other cheek when others hurt us and what did they do? They spat on him, they flogged him, mocked him; calling him King of the Jews. And when given a choice between letting this man of love go or two murderers, they chose the murderers. They then made him carry his own cross while continuing to mock him. He was nailed to the cross while those around him shouted ” If you are.the son of God, save yourself and come down from that cross”” all in a mocking tone. But he remained there until finally in a loud voice cried ” Lord why have you forsaken me?”. He could have easily avoided this fate, this pain and humiliation but it had to be done because he died for us, for our sins, so we could have enteral life. Even though he loved us and it needed to be done, the story hurts me so, the lack of humanity of this world. How we hurt the most gentle and loving persons and worship those that hurt others, are spiteful and do nothing to make this world a better place. Jesus is my savior and my friend and forever I will love him. Amen 🙏🙏🙏

An Easter Poem


You died on that cross to save us from sin and to bring us salvation; you rose up from the dead; just like you said you would and if you could, you have saved yourself but that wasn’t the plan because you were not just a man but you were the son of God and it needed to be done for mankind as a sign of God’s everlasting love and eternal life; up in heaven in peace and free from strife and all is right because we are in God’s sight and there we can see his true might. Jesus’s love is unsurpassed and gives me hope that doesn’t die but lasts as long as Jesus is with me,so I can be a kinder man; it took me a long time to understand God and religion as a whole but now I feel it in my soul and I know Jesus is in my heart and I will do my part of remember the sacrifices Jesus made for me as I try to be someone who lives by God’s will the best I can. Even though I am not a perfect man; I know Jesus loves me and he understands.


Easter memories

Easter is almost here and I thinking of my memories of Easter; I could only thing of one Easter that stuck out in my mind and it was pivotal event in my life; it’s when things changed forever and they would never be the same. It was 1993 and it was close to Easter and I was 10 years old; my grandfather ( who I loved dearly) had a heart attack and he was in the hospital; about to go into open heart surgery.  My mom was away and my father was busy trying to take care of my grandfather; talking to the doctors and visiting him everyday.  It was decided that we would stay a few days at my brother’s friend’s house. I really liked that family; they were so nice to me. Especially his mother; she was Polish and just such a sweet lady. I remember her as being really gentle and doing her best to take care of me in my anxious state. I was an anxious kid and I was really worried about my grandfather and whether or not he would make it. It was the first time in life when I realized that there was a possibility that he wouldn’t live forever. I remember being at their house like it was yesterday; they had two kids; both whom were incredibly smart; gifted and talented smart types.  They rarely watched TV or wasted their days playing video games; which at the time I thought was pretty strange because I spent all my time playing Super Mario Kart and zoning out while watching TV.  And it’s no wonder their so successful and I still make minimum wage. Anyways everyone made me feel at home; we’d play croquet outside or just walk around in the Spring air; it was a nice warm spring; I remember.  When Easter came around; my father was still at the hospital with my grandfather; so we went to church with them. It may have been the first time I had gone to Easter service without my parents; so it was kind of a lonely feeling. But I remember it was a beautiful day without a cloud in the sky.  To me the people at church were like a second family; they really stepped up when we needed them and gave our whole family a lot of love over the years.

A few days after Easter, I was back home and my cousin called; I picked up the phone and she asked for my dad.   I handed the phone to my dad and I just remember him looking upset; he sat me down and told me my grandfather had died.  I mean, a few days earlier he had gotten through the surgery fine so I breathed a sigh of relief.  I was devastated because I had never lost anyone before; I was only 10 and I loved my Grandfather so much; I couldn’t have asked for more caring Grandparents. And I believe that day was the beginning of the end for our family.  I took it hard but I think my brother took it worse. He was about 14 at time and unbeknownst to me; he had started drinking; I think to cope with the pain of the loss. Drinking turned into using drugs and it was downhill from there. That one phone call had changed everything for the worse.   And it hurts to write this; it really does. But the drinking and the drugs coupled with the depression indirectly caused the death of my brother 4 years later in April ( the same month my grandfather died. So while I look back and I cherish the moments of kindness that family showed us; it’s a bitter sweet moment because it the catalyst to the most painful times in my life.  So Easter is always a tough time for us but I try to remember Jesus at this time and how he loves me and has always been there to comfort me even when I pushed him away.   It’s been 25 years and yet I feels like it happened yesterday; how the memories come up as I have started my writing journey.  But I have to keep writing; how else can I heal with being honest with myself and others?.  I just hope someone reading this can relate in someway.