When you are troubled and you feel alone, attacked from all sides ( even your own mind), you feel isolated, you feel hopeless, everything is crashing down on you at once and you don’t know where to turn. It seems that no one is there, maybe because you pushed them away, maybe you need the space. But for whatever reason , you are alone and you mind is racing and you find yourself again in that dark place where nothing seems right and everyone is against you, your eyes red from lack of sleep, you feel the exhaustion of overthinking, your body is tense. It’s such an empty desolate feeling when you have to shut the whole world off just to breathe. You’ve been suffocating, carrying the weight of the world and all you want to do into collapse into your bed in your own self-pity. Instead you collapse onto your knees, hands together, eyes closed. You find yourself talking to the one that never abandons you, no matter how bitter you were, no matter how much you turned from him; he was always there. You turn to God because there’s nothing left and in your darkest times is when he’s working the hardest in your life. You pray for strength, for guidance, you pray to forgive yourself and to forgive others; you ask God to bless them and give them everything you’d want in life; protection, love, happiness, success. And suddenly the attacks of your mind slow down, you feel a small sense of ease, your muscle relax and you unclench your teeth. Because I know that through this pain will come salvation and God will never abandon me, I just have to faith that when troubled times arrive soon comes miracles. Amen. 🙏
I am strong believe in God and Jesus, I struggle with religion but my faith never wavers. Tonight, I had just finished up assisting an English as a second language class and I was thinking about what a blessing it was to help others and I decided to make a quick video in my car at Mcdonalds so I share could to my stories on Facebook. I literally had finished making the video and this woman taps on my car window; I was little startled actually but she asked if I could get her and her boyfriend some food because they were hungry and hadn’t eaten all day; I was taken aback because I always feel nervous when strangers approach me for money or anything and I told her I had no cash ( I know it wasn’t the best response) but she asked if I could go into the Mcdonalds with her and buy her a meal; I agreed.
We walked in and ordered the food; her boyfriend was sitting at a table and I talked with her a little about their situation and she told me how her boyfriend had lost his job and broke his back in some sort of accident and it really hurt them financially; they didn’t have a place to stay. I made some suggestions about shelters, getting financial help and I told them about my church and to contact them because they are actively involved in helping those in the community. They got their food and I wish them luck and spoke to her boyfriend for a bit and went on my way.
As I was driving home, I realized that God was speaking directly too me at that moment, he called on me to help them as I was talking about helping others; his message couldn’t be more clear and I thought it about some more, I started getting teary eyed and when I got home, I talk to my dad and as I was relaying this story, I just cried and cried; they were tears of joy because God loved me so much and he loved those people and he was working through them; giving me the opportunity to help them in a small way by buying them a meal.
I just amazed at how God works and choose someone like me who turned his back on God to help to spread his message. I think all those bible characters who didn’t feel worthy enough to spread God message but he chose them; like Moses ; a stutterer to speak to the Jews in Egypt or tax collectors or prostitutes; people society pushed aside and condemned; God used these people as their messengers because he doesn’t want perfect people; he wants sinners; he wants to save us and he want us to love others as he loves us. I think if everyone know God in that way, the world would be a much better place. God is love.
When I feel I depressed and anxious, I feel like throwing in the towel, I then realize that God’s working in my life and I think of all the blessings he’s given to me, I get gratitude and I always feel better. I think of the times in my life where I felt so low and God spoke to me, either through the people I knew or something as simple as a song on the radio, he was reaching out to me and sometimes I’d ignore it and other times I recognized it right away, looking up at the sky and saying thank you because I knew it was him. So while life won’t ever be easy, I can take comfort in knowing is always God taking care of me and I’ll be alright in the end. I’m feeling blessed at the moment and hope you are as well. Have a beautiful day, friends. God loves you. 🙏 ❤
I think Christianity and God/Jesus gets a bad rap, a lot of people love to hate Christians, they paint them as overly pious, moralizing, judgmental of anyone who doesn’t fit their “version” of Christianity, they are intolerant of anyone who is different from them, they are hypocrites; preaching one thing and doing another; spouting love and compassion one minute and the next ignoring the new church member beside them looking for a friend in Christ, some Christians. I think these are the things that non-church goers feel and their observations aren’t far from the truth. I feel that way and I consider myself a Christian. Some of the most judgmental people I have met have claimed to Christians, it disheartening and very hurtful.
But here’s where I disagree with the kinds of people who make these statements; they equate God and Jesus with the actions of the church. God is love and accepting of all, God isn’t going to abandon or ignore you like some in the church. But because of the actions of those in the church, it turns many away from God. How can Jesus be love and compassion if these are his followers, that’s difficult for me and I struggle with it.
I have to separate God/Jesus from Church/Religion. You can have God in your life, be in prayer, read the bible, practice the principles of Christianity and never set foot in a church. They say community is vital, worship is necessary but what if you don’t feel accepted?. How can I reach God here when I all I feel is hurt and bitterness? I can forgive but it doesn’t negate the fact that I feel uncomfortable in church settings because I know I’m being judged. I attend church begrudgingly and it sucks up my energy. Instead of making me feel closer to God, I feel further away, as far as I’m concerned he’s somewhere outside in the parking lot.
I don’t think I’ve ever truly, felt welcome at church, well maybe as a kid but not as an adult. I feel coldness and indifference, I feel no one really takes the time to know because they’ve developed their “holy cliques”. It’s like George Carlin used to say “They’re in the club and you ain’t in it”. That’s how I feel, out of place, misunderstood, ignored and people don’t want to know you because they’ve already pegged you as someone they don’t want to talk to, so you stand in the corner as people pass you by like you don’t even exist. Sigh, I wonder how many people have left church or never found God because they felt so unwelcome among these so called accepting Christians. And it’s all because of how we treat each other.
I personally find God in nature by myself, through the conversations I have with others, through miraculous things that defy explanation, through writing/art/music, through prayer, reading the bible and the love of my family but never in the church. But don’t think I’m not a Christian or don’t have God is my life. I love God but I struggle with his children, they’re the problem.
I want to tell a story. Around 2002, I was a new driver and I was following a friend and I failed to stop at a left turn signal, as soon as I turned, I had no time to react and a car smashed into to me at about 45 mph from the drivers side. My car spun and I end up on the median, the car was completely totaled but for some miraculous reason, I didn’t lose consciousness or have any injuries, aside from a sore neck and the shock of the accident.
I was in the hospital and I was really dazed and out of it. But I remember talking to the doctor and him telling me how lucky I was to make it out of there, without a scratch, in fact, if my foot had been a few inches closer, I could have lost it and been disabled for life.
I truly believe God saved my life that night, I don’t know why he did, because I should have been seriously injured, given how fast the other driver was going and the fact that I ran a red light during heavy traffic. Yet for some reason I was spared harm. I believe God spared me because he had a purpose me, to help others, spread compassion, help the disabled, and try to make a difference.
At the time, I didn’t believe in God and it just hit me as I was commenting on someone else’s status. But it shows to power of God and how much he loves me. I can’t tell you how many situations I have been able to escape from by the grace of God, there’s just no other explanation beside God’s grace.
Sometimes if I’m laying in bed, that feeling of that car speeding towards me will hit me and I will jump in fear, like my body never forgot that moment. I am grateful of God’s love for me and am so happy I have him in my life again.
Just wanted to share that with all of you 🙏 ❤
What hurts me the most is that he was a gentle man who preached love and tolerance, who taught us to forgive and love one another, to love our enemies and turn the other cheek when others hurt us and what did they do? They spat on him, they flogged him, mocked him; calling him King of the Jews. And when given a choice between letting this man of love go or two murderers, they chose the murderers. They then made him carry his own cross while continuing to mock him. He was nailed to the cross while those around him shouted ” If you are.the son of God, save yourself and come down from that cross”” all in a mocking tone. But he remained there until finally in a loud voice cried ” Lord why have you forsaken me?”. He could have easily avoided this fate, this pain and humiliation but it had to be done because he died for us, for our sins, so we could have enteral life. Even though he loved us and it needed to be done, the story hurts me so, the lack of humanity of this world. How we hurt the most gentle and loving persons and worship those that hurt others, are spiteful and do nothing to make this world a better place. Jesus is my savior and my friend and forever I will love him. Amen 🙏🙏🙏 ❤
Happy Sunday everyone I hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday and weekend. Well today so far has been great. Last night I got this text from this woman who I help assist Sunday school with, she told me she was out of town and asked if I could still help with the class, I assumed there would be someone with me as usual. She then told asked me if I was comfortable teaching the class by myself. I said of course I would but I was pretty nervous. Even though it’s usually one student, I have never lead a class on my own before but I felt it would be good for me.
Luckily the class already has a lesson plan set up, so I didn’t have to prepare anything ( thank god!) The one student that showed up was this kid, he’s about 14 and he has Autism. He is really cool and just nice, he likes to draw and is easy going. We talked about how God commands us to love each other and to love him. We talked about treating others the way we’d like to be treated and how we have to be kind to other’s even when they aren’t kind to us. We did an activity where I asked him about a time this week when he felt it was hard to be kind to someone, he mentioned this kid at school kept annoying him and I talked about ways that maybe he could be nicer. We then watched a video about God’s love and it was like a sign. It was about a guy who creates a podcast with his Grandma and she talking how God expects us to love. But I thought “hey wait a minute, I just started a podcast not long ago. This can’t be a coincidence. What is God trying to tell me?” Anyways the class was a lot of fun and it went well. I just wanted to make a post about it. Have a good day, friends
As a Christian; I love and accept everyone even those that don’t believe in God or who are from a different religion. I don’t care who you love, the color of your skin, the language you speak or your political views. I love and accept everyone because we are all children of God and that what he expects us to do; to love one another. It’s sad that Christians are painted with a broad brush and deemed hateful and intolerant. Some are ; for sure; but not all. Some of us accept everyone; we are not on a mission to moralize or point the finger. I am more on mission to let others know how much God loves them and that no matter what they have done in life; God forgives us and only asks that we trust him. May God bless you today. Amen 🙏🙏🙏
Earlier this week; I was helping with the disabled ministry and I was asked by one of the leaders if I could help assist with a special needs Sunday school class. I was honored that they thought I’d be a good fit; it was also exactly what I needed to get of my depressive funk; I was really excited about it. Well. my first Sunday school assisting was this morning at 9:30. It was pretty easy; the church had set up the lesson and all we had to was follow the guide. The class only had one person attending and he was young man about 14 years old; he was great. He kind of shy and quiet; a lot like I was at that age but very bright. He has some special needs and I am so glad there is a Sunday school that serves him; there is a class for children, teens and adults ( the same adults that participate in the disabled ministry); I will be assisting in the teen class. We wrote some things on the dry erase board; the theme being serving others ( which is what church is about, right?) We watched a video about Jesus washed the feet of his disciples during Passover and how Jesus expects us the wash the feet of others. It’s a metaphor of course for serving the needs of others. Jesus wants us to put others before ourselves and that will make us great in his eyes; an important message. We did some arts and crafts; which he loved. I just feel so great right now and blessed to be able to assist and be there for those at church with special needs. I believe this is God’s calling for me. Happy Sunday to all my followers; may God bless you today.
Today was such a great day; I started up volunteering again with the disabled ministry; after losing my job and feeling rejected I really needed this. As usual it went great; they were so happy to see me and I missed them so much. I have written about it several times I love this ministry. The disabled ministry is a Christian organization through the church I attend. They do bible study, do community works and go on trips; it such a wonderful organization. On Thursdays they help serve lunch at church to those in community; it’s incredible. The volunteers and young adults all set up, prepare food and serve an average of 80-120 people; and it’s run very well. So anyways I showed up and apparently they are taking a trip to Disney World; which makes me smile because I know they are going to have the time of their lives. The young adults kept asking me why I couldn’t make the trip; it’s hard for them to understand that I have no money coming in and therefore no trip. To be honest; it less about me and more about them having a good time. It just made me smile to know they were so excited about this trip; they deserve to have fun. And they are some of the kindest sweetest people you are ever going to meet. My main job is to help this young man dry dishes while he washes; we are a great team; we joke around a lot and just have fun; sometimes I just as unfocused as he is; which I guess is sort of a problem but I am working on getting us both on task. Overall this is really good for me and I have grown to care deeply for the young adults ( and their parents), the volunteers, and the leaders; almost like an extended family.
We finished and I sat down to eat and sat by this woman who was a parent of one of the young adults who says she likes to write; she’s really smart and wise and has a lot to say. Every time I see her; I ask her how writing is going and she gives me a big smile; I love it. Anyways I was talking to her mom about losing my job and how I was happy to be back. But I was also excited to be getting this scholarship to finish my degree. Then we started talking about writing and I was telling how therapeutic it was for me and how I’m connected with all these writers on my blog and Instagram. She was telling me how important it was for me to tell my story because it gets other people to open up. And also when we write; we realize that others feel just as we do; we’re not alone; it was a lovely conversation; I usually don’t get a chance to have conversations that like much; which is an incentive to continue to be part of this group. I just so feel so blessed right now to be back volunteering and giving my time to help others. I just wanted to share this joy with you today.
Thanks for listening,
What I am listening to at this very moment