Author’s challenge 2019

This is my a bio I am making for the Author’s challenge of 2019

 

Hello #writingcommunity I’m doing the #authorschallenge2019 today. David is a yet to be published author and mental health/disability advocate. He has been blogging for almost two years; writing on subjects ranging from disabilities, mental health, grief, suicide, poetry, social justice, Spirituality ( as opposed to religion) and gender roles. David uses writing to uplift and encourage others who are suffering from depression and other mental illnesses and hopes to spread a message of love and acceptance. The goal is to continue to advocate for marginalized people and to publish his work in the coming years. David is looking forward to connecting with others positively in the writing community.

My bio for 2019 😀

 

 

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I gained 1,000 followers on my Instagram

I am so excited that I now have gained over 1,000 followers to my Instagram page;   I am a part of both a wonderful writing and mental health community on Instagram. I have so much support on there and the ability to lend my support to others; it has been amazing; beyond anything I could have imagined a year ago.  If you can please take the time to follow me on instagram; I post often and am active in interacting with my followers.  Thank you

instagram/davethewriter18

 

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Supporting other bloggers

I know I said I am taking a break from blogging and I am; I just wanted to take a little time and promote a fellow blogger. She is a great writer and has a lot to say.   If you can, please take the time to visit her blog and follow her. She is really looking for ways to make her blog grow so maybe you can give her some tips, it’s much appreciated

Dave

https://fantasylandcalledreality.wordpress.com/

 

Taking a vacation

I have really been struggling since the loss of my job; I no longer have that daily routine of getting up and going to work everyday. I feel lonely because I’m not interacting with anyone and the depression is starting to sink in.    My sleep is bad as well. I have bipolar and when I don’t have a set schedule, I end up staying up late at night and sleeping until late into the day.  So right now things are really tough for me and it just feels like things are falling apart. I end up on the computer a lot , mainly due to all this free time. I post way too much on social media and my blog; I live online and it’s just not healthy.  My interactions are positive though; I reconnected with a lot of friends and I’m sure if they lived close by, I would see them.   I feel more connected to writers all over the world and my words are reaching people in positive ways, something I couldn’t have imagined a few years back.  So I don’t have the negative  responses that many people report; considering I have mental health issues and am on the Autistic spectrum, no one bullies me, in fact I receive so much praise from so many people, its unbelievable, in fact it can be overwhelming. But it’s also a crutch, I crave the attention online and don’t make the effort to connect with others in real life. And I know I have written about this so much but it is a real struggle for me and this blog is my daily journal to sort out my feelings, bear with me.

I want to make some serious changes beside what I’ve written about in earlier blog posts.  I want to take a vacation from blogging, social media and just do some major self-care.  I plan on waking up everyday at the same time, until I have a more normal sleeping pattern.  I plan on trying to find a way to connect with other writers in real life, I know there are some writing groups in the area I can join and I intend to participate.  Social situations make me nervous but somehow I feel less anxious around supportive, creative, artistic people: writers, painters, poets.  It’s so hard to make friends and I feel so damn lonely. I wish there was an easy answer, all I can do is just keep moving forward and having faith that things will work out. So now I am going to try my very best to limit my online time. Thank you for all the support; it means so much to me.   I can’t believe the amount of followers I have and the wonderful community that I am a part of, it has been life changing. And if am able to actually take a vacation from all of this maybe I can come back with a different perspective.

See you later

Dave

 

 

New Year goals 2019

New Year Goals

Well, a new year is upon us and it has been quite a incredible year for me; I made a lot of progress and really grew as a person. I pray that 2019 will also be a good year for me; I plan on making the year to come a very successful one; I’d like to improve myself on a mental/emotion, spiritual, social and financial/career level; all aspects of my life. I am ending the year on a somewhat sour note; being unemployed but I have perseverance and I am very driven. I am many goals for this year and I plan to achieve a lot in the coming year.

One of my goals is education; I am determined to finally get my associates degree in developmental disabilities; I want a job in the field; maybe as a job coach, a peer mentor or a motivational speaker in the future. I can sense how my writing and story has inspired others and the idea of using it to help people is something I very much like to do. I will take any opportunity to use my experience to inspire others to do their very best and not to give up; this may be one of my callings in life. I want more career aspects because like anyone else; I want to make enough money so I can be independent; I don’t live with my family by choice; I’m with them because my health issues and disabilities limits the kinds of jobs I can take; I want to push myself to do better; I think we all deserve that.

And speaking of my career; I want to continue to volunteer with the disabled ministry; I plan on spending more time with them this year; getting to know them further; and learning the skills I need to enter the human service field. It also helps me grow closer in my faith and become a more spiritual person. Through this group, I know God is working in my life. I plan on volunteering in other areas such as teaching English as a second language and other volunteer opportunities throughout the area. Now that I have all this free time; I plan to use it wisely and maybe get involved in church more as well. I think God has big plans for me in 2019 and I just have to follow his lead.

I think this will be a big year for me socially as well. I plan to continue reconnecting with friends and hopefully making new friends as well; I am trying to learning to face my fears and learn to meet new people and not avoid social situations; just to put myself out there. Something as simple as asking for a someone’s number who I’m interested in is a big step for me. Maybe dating is on the horizon for me; that is an exciting new chapter for me. That’s something that creates a lot of anxiety but I know God will guide me through whatever happens. I plan on maybe taking a trip back home to see old friends; there are so many people I want to see; just the idea of traveling is new to me but I am ready for it. I am so thankful for all the friends I have connected but am sad most of them live far away; so I have to make the effort to see them. This will be the year where I expand my social life.

I will continue to write; exploring new ideas and forms of writing; I am going to keep my blog and hopefully gain more followers and connect with more writers; I am so excited about that. With my free time; I hope to find a writers group in the area and meet fellow writers face to face; maybe get the chance to share my poetry to a live audience; I would love that. Yes writing is my saving grace and I have no idea where I’d be without it.

I figure if 2018 was such a big year; then 2019 will be even better; I just have to have faith; I need to stay positive and move forward in my life. I want to inspire and encourage others and do my part to make the world a better place. I want to be a more compassionate and forgiving person along the way; I remain in prayer and I hope for the best in the upcoming year. And I wish all of my family, friends and followers a very happy new years. May 2019 be a successful year for you; may you be blessed with all the happiness in the world

Dave

 

 

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Last day at my job

Today was the last day at my job and I’ve written a lot about it; I’ve been so depressed about it and today was no exception. At the time same it’s pretty bittersweet; I have been working for the last 2 years and I feel so tired; a part of me is looking forward to enjoying the rest; volunteering more; make it to church on Sunday and finding time to write and of course going back to school.  So I am trying to have a positive attitude about all of this and I also tell myself that this was seasonal and they let go of almost everyone; so I can’t take it personally.  It really wasn’t a bad last day;  them letting me go was not a result of an emotional breakdown or me quitting in anger ( unlike every other job in the past); it’s all circumstances beyond my control; my old store was closing and I took the job as a means of making money during holidays; knowing full well it was seasonal. I am proud of the job I did; I managed my emotions; I showed up on time everyday; didn’t complain and worked hard and a lot of my co-workers have mentioned how hard of a worker I am.  I am grateful I didn’t have to be at Sears until the very end; I am grateful to God for blessing me this short time at this new job and giving me the strength to make it through all this; it was tough.  I also felt good that a lot of people wished me luck; I got a lot of hugs and people seemed genuinely sad to see me go; they realized how much this job meant to me.

I am just struggling to figure how I am going to deal with all of my anxious thoughts and depression with so much free time; I feel rejected in a sense that I wasn’t picked to stay.  I have been irritable and I have felt rejected both by this job and by trying to contacting people I’ve known life and getting ignored responses; it hurts. So I know I am in a middle of a depressive episode and I pray God will get me through this. I hope by writing I can make sense of my feelings; so they don’t build up. So if my blogs seem erratic; just know I am struggling with these changes in my life. I have no idea what’s ahead but I do know I am ready for whatever comes ahead.

I also wanted to talk about something that I haven’t shared on my blog or any of my social media; which is amazes because I have a history of being so anxious about these things.  In fact I have managed to keep it all to myself and not ask anyone for advice; that’s a first. Anyways there was this girl at work that I met a few weeks ago; she seemed really nice and she was in college and I told her I really liked to write; I had a blog and how I loved school; she seemed real interested and whenever I was on break; she’d sit next to me ( along with a lot of other women; I don’t sit with guys lol) and she would just light up when she saw me and it was such a good feeling; she’s really cute but somehow I was confident; mostly likely because she seemed so interested in talking to me.  I thought about asking for her number but I didn’t want my anxiety to show and I could never find any moment alone with her; I couldn’t do it while other people are around; I am so self conscious about those things.  I sort of decided that I’d just leave it alone because again I have long history of being rejected ( especially asking out girls I worked with)  Once I found I was leaving this job; I realized I had nothing to lose but I tried not stress over it. If I could ask her; great; if not; then I’d be alright either way.  Anyways as I was leaving for my shift; head down; very sad about leaving; I went back in to do some shopping; I then saw the girl I liked on her own; at the front door; looking at her phone.  I decided in a split second right there that this was chance to ask for her number.  I sort of nervously told her that if she had questions about writing ( stupid I know) that she could talk to me about it.  I told her this was my last shift; she seemed happy about me asking for her number and told me to put my number on her phone and she’d text me. She then hugged me and wished me luck.  I just felt so proud of myself at that moment; that I had the confidence to ask her and I wasn’t too anxious.  I went about it the right way and I realized that maybe I lost my job but I gained a possible opportunity to get to know this girl. I just tell myself to take it very slow and give myself a chance to catch my breath from all the stress; I’ll text her soon and see what happens. When one doors closes another one opens.   I think this is a new chapter in my life; a new year and good things are truly on the horizon.  Thank you for all the support regarding the job; it really makes a difference

Thanks

Dave

 

I haven’t been ignoring my followers

I just want my followers to know that they haven’t been ignored by me. I am still trying to figure out this blogging thing and I could never figure out how to get instant notifications on my follower’s posts. I end up following so many people and I was using the reader; which is extremely overwhelming and half of the posts were from people who never interact with me; it was frustrating. I felt bad because people would react to my post immediately and I never get around to interacting with them on their page.  I want to be a part of a community and I wasn’t able to do that; I apologize. I wonder how many people who interacted with me unfollowed me because they thought I didn’t like their posts and never left likes or comments. Another part of the reason why I haven’t gotten notifications is that I mostly use wordpress on my deskstop; there is no way to enable notifications from there ( unless I missed something).  Anyways I just spent the last hour or so going through all my followers and those I follow and trying to enable notifications; it was a lot of profiles to go through. So anyways hopefully I can interact more with my followers and it won’t feel so one sided; me posting and getting likes and me never reciprocating.   I look forward to seeing all of your posts.

Dave

 

Sad news about my job

Well, the day before Christmas; one of my my supervisors ( the one gave me the review) at work called me in to talk to him. He informed me that they would no longer need me after the Christmas season and that I would be leaving at the end of the week. I kinda of expected it but I was a little upset that they chose the day after Christmas to tell me; it hurt.   But I did tell him that I had learning disabilities and I gave it my all because I really wanted to work there. He said he didn’t know that ( I am not sure if he couldn’t tell how much I struggled)  But he said I did a good job and I may get a call back to work there in March when there are more openings; so fingers crossed on that one.  I told a few co-workers about how I was being let go and they all said I was such a good worker and they were surprised.  One lady who was really kind hugged me and said “I’ll miss you sweetheart; I enjoyed working with you”; it felt nice to be appreciated. So I kind of was of moping to myself; feeling I was singled out and wondered what I was going to after this. I am trying to look at the bright side; this means I can go back to school and finish my degree and I can also spend more time with the disabled ministry.  I also planning on other volunteer opportunities while I look for another job. I also realized that I can write more and maybe attend some writing workshops that I could never make due to work. So yes, I’ll be alright; if I keep a positive attitude.  So while I was moping to myself one of my other co-workers who came in with me said she was also cut and then all of a sudden about 5 or 6 people said to me they were cut as well. I realized I wasn’t the only one and I felt less bad because they pretty much had cut everyone and  you know what, they all seemed to have a calm attitude about it.   I realized that everything was ok and not to worry.   Just wanted to update you guys; thank you for all support regarding the job; it means a lot

Dave

Merry Christmas

I just wanted to write a quick Christmas message to all of my followers; your love and support on this blog has been the best gift I could have asked for this year.  There are been some tough days and sometimes the only thing that got me through them was my writing and all of the supportive comments I have gotten on this blog; I am so grateful and I hope you all a very blessed Christmas; and I share your joy if this has been a good holiday season for you but I also share your pain if the holidays have been tough because I totally understand; the Christmas season has never been easy for me.  And to me Christmas isn’t about the gifts in the way some people may think; the gifts are being with family; being blessed with wonderful friends, my writing and having faith in God; that’s what Christmas is about to me.  I try to focus on God during this time of year and I give him all the credit; without his guidance I wouldn’t have the people in my life or the ability to write or my family; so he gets all the glory. Anyways have a safe Christmas; take care of yourselves and again thank you for following me on my writing journey.

Dave

 

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A year in review 2018

This has been such a wonderful year for me; a life changing year; really. I can’t even begin to describe or list all of the wonderful blessings I have had in 2018 but I am going to try. I started out the year still working at Sears and starting an internship related to my degree in developmental disabilities; it was actually kind of rough and I had doubts about my ability to work in the disability field; I had a lot of stress and anxiety and felt overworked with both my regular job and internship; I turned to only comfort I knew; prayer and my writing; I just had to go on faith that I’d get through this period in my life. I found myself turning to God more and more and growing in my faith; even if I couldn’t make it to church. And I was blessed to have so many caring and supportive friends on social media; it made such a huge difference; I really appreciated all the comments and messages from people. I felt I became a better writer as well ( and began calling myself one); I wrote blog post after blog post and it really helped me to cope with some of the anxiety I felt. My blog grew like crazy; it went from 300 or so followers to over 1200 followers in less than year; you don’t realize how grateful I am to ALL of my followers; just to know that people can relate to what I am saying; just vindicates all of these feelings I have had for years and I no longer feel as alone; this blog has been my saving grace. This is such a great community and not only did I connect with writers on my blog but my instagram has also grown and I connect with so many writers, mental health advocates, educators; its amazing. My social media feed is full of positive messages and I love interacting with people; it makes my day.

In 2018 I also was able to take a trip back to where I grew up; after not being there for 10 years. I left in 2008; feeling like I never wanted to go back home; too many painful memories. But I decided that I wanted to face the past and see my old friends; it was very emotional leading up to the trip; I was sort of reliving all of those memories and it hurt; and people around me didn’t understand it; so I kept it myself; I only expressed it through writing. I went back to DC in July of this year and stayed with a friend and I think a lot of the memories of the past came flooding back; I was gone for so long that I had forgotten what the area looked like and it was like being a tourist in my own city. But I did have a lot of fun; I saw many of my friends and family. They even had a welcome home party for me; which was crazy because all these people showed up and I just felt loved; to see those faces again was indescribable. I was happy but anxious at the same time; these are people I really care about and they all showed up to welcome me home; I think I was just overwhelmed; and I am already overwhelmed at social events to begin but it turned on out nice. I went back to my old church where I had spent a lot of time and I just broke down crying; thinking of all those memories; the good and the bad. It was painful but healing; I finally let go of all that pain and anger and sadness in a matter of minutes; it’s what I needed. And I feel God was watching over me the whole trip; comforting me. I will never forget that trip and I hope in 2019; I can come back again and hopefully it will be less emotional.

About 3 months; I finally had a Sunday off and I was able to attend church. They were talking about something called the Rainbow Ministry; which serves the needs of the developmental disabled in the community. I was impressed and I asked the pastor about it and he told me that he wanted me to be a part of this ministry. Before I knew it; I met with the leader and her daughter and we talked about volunteer opportunities. I helped with this lunch called “Feast with friends” which is where the young adults; make and serve lunch at the church; the crowd can be up to over 100 people on some days. I helped a young man dry dishes ( we make a great team by the way). I got to know all of the young adults and the volunteers and grew to care about them and I think they feel the same way about me. I started spending a lot of time with Rainbow; I went on a trip to the mountains with them and it was such a wonderful experience; I bonded with a lot of people. Again it helped grow in my faith in God and gave me a purpose; I no long felt as depressed or anxious. We have done activities at church and at the cabin in downtown Matthews; just a lot of fun. It was one of the biggest blessings of this year and it has changed me; I am different person because of this group and I only have God to thank for it. It also has given me more confidence that I can do well in the disability field; with the right guidance.

And lastly I recently just started a new job; my old job was closing it’s store and I had to scramble for a new job quick and by the grace of God; I found one and it has been so much better for me. I have about a 6 dollar raise, I am treated better; have better hours; am more productive and have so much pride in what I do. Yes, there are challenges but it wasn’t like at Sears where I got paid nothing, was treated terribly and it just made my anxiety and depression 10 times worse; I felt antagonized most of the time and I felt stagnant; I prayed for God to get me out of there and he delivered on that promise. I am so much happier in this new job and my confidence has increased; both as a worker and socially. It’s seasonal and I have anxiety about whether they will keep me or not but I leave it leave it God; it’s in his hands at this point. I work hard every day and can only do my best.

So yes, 2018 was a life changing year and sometimes I just sit back and I can’t believe all of the good things that have happened; it feels like a dream to me; like it’s not real. All the wonderful friends and people who have actually come to Charlotte to visit me. I get overwhelmed by the good things sometimes and I tell myself I have to take it a day at a time and learn to accept praise and love and to be easy on myself. I pray that in 2019; my life will continue to be good and I can grow as a person and hopefully help and inspire others; through my words and videos. Thank so much for all the support friends; you guys mean the world to me. Please take care of yourself in the year to come and I hope we continue to connect and support one another

Your friend,

Dave

 

 

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