My anxiety is constantly lying to me and it is amazing that it took me thing long to realize that. But in trying to combat my anxiety I wanted to write down some of the things my anxiety lies to me
- Everyone hates me and I’ll never be able to make friends
- I’m stupid and that’s what everyone else thinks too
- I’m ugly/unattractive. I’ll never have a girlfriend or marry
- I am my anxiety, it defines me
- I’ll never be able to independent/ I’ll never find a job that will pay enough to live on
- Avoiding situations that make me anxious will decrease my anxiety
- I have no skills, I’m competent and can’t get anything right
- No one else is as anxious as I am, my case is the worst, I am alone in this
- I will always have bad anxiety is there is nothing I can do to make it better
I want to take the time to address each point because I have realized that all of these are blatant lies and I can counter all these statements
- I have met many people throughout my life that really care about me, people who I didn’t think liked me and it turned out they thought about me throughout the years, I had an impact on them, they just never told me. I have heard a lot of people say how kind I am and honest, that makes me feel good. And even recently I thought a whole group of people didn’t like me until I took the time to get to know them and realize they were my friends, and even though we don’t know each other well, they still like me. My anxiety makes me think everyone in the room doesn’t like me, when they don’t even know me. I think the worst in people like everyone is against me and that kills my confidence and of course, no one approaches me because my self-esteem is so low. I feel when I simply just walk up to people and talk to them, they are usually friendly and I realize how wrong I’ve been. That gives me comfort and it combats that anxiety.
- I think that while I struggle with learning disabilities in some areas, in other areas, I excel. I think I have a gift of expressing myself through writing, I taught myself a lot of the Spanish I know because I was determined. I never thought I would make it through college but I am a class away from a degree and was on the dean’s list, so I am far from stupid but anxiety makes me focus on what I’m not good at.
3 To be honest, I’ve never had a relationship with a woman and that hurts. I look at myself and I don’t like how I look but the truth is that I know there have been plenty of women I’ve come across that liked me and it was my emotional difficulties that keep the relationship from starting, not my looks. I knew they were attracted to me at some point because they approached me but I could never get over my anxiety.
I actually remember going out about a year ago to a bar and I each time I went, I managed to have a conversation with at least 1 woman there and I went out about 4 times. And all of these women were really attractive and each time they approached me; I was really amazed. I was so proud I was able to hold a conversation with all of these women. So clearly, my looks are less of a factor than my anxiety and that would make me think and if I worked on myself and reduced the anxiety and gained higher self-esteem, I might find someone.
- I am not my anxiety, it doesn’t define me. I am so much more than that. I am a kind, loving person with a big heart.
- I think if I find the right job that suites me and the right environment, I could thrive. My gifts are helping people and I am praying and hoping I can get into the disability field, it is a passion of mine and I know that I could be good at it, find a career and manage to live on my own.
- The more I avoid certain situations and people, the worse it becomes because I never learn how to deal with it, I may be comfortable leaving but I haven’t faced my fears, it doesn’t help me gain my confidence. In order to combat my anxiety, I have allowed myself to be uncomfortable and try to find ways to reduce my anxiety in social situations, like praying or taking a quiet moment and coming back, running away isn’t the solution
- I think it goes back to the stupidity lie, I do have skills, I have gifts ( we all do!) and there are so many things I am good at and I focus on that as opposed to the things I am not so great at.
- It is amazing that once I started writing about anxiety that so many people came up to and told me they suffered from it too, so many people are affected by it and don’t even talk it. And by talking about my anxiety, it helps others have to courage to be open about their struggles, that has helped me so much and reduced my anxiety. Lately, I have met several people in person who I thought didn’t have any kind of issues, tell me they also have mental health struggles, they seemed so confident and I felt alone and yet there were people around me who are just as anxious. And although we are not totally open about, just know there are other people who have anxiety, makes me feel a whole lot better. We are never alone.
- My anxiety will improve when I start to counter the lies when I face my fears when I talk about my struggles openly and most importantly write about them and continues to be in a community of those trying to recover from mental health struggles.