Failure to connect

Failing to connect the dots, thoughts escape me as I sip my drinking, laughing nervously

 

Trying to think of something to say to the person who has chosen to sit beside me, but I’m lost in the ever-present sound of life as it passes by me and they leave without saying a word.

 

I’m still on this stool, waiting for a smile that never comes, so I look around to see a friendly face but all I see is darkness

 

A sea of people but I feel alone, washed away in loneliness, a common theme

 

Another face, I open my mouth to speak but a soft whisper comes out, I sheepishly realized that the eyes in front of me lack interest and so I turn back the glaring glow of the television broadcasting a basketball game which leaves me feeling bored.

 

I walk outside with my drink that burns and churns my stomach, the patio is empty, it’s cold and I start a conversation with the only person I haven’t failed to connect with: myself. “How are you?” I say. “I’m great”, my own voice replies.

 

We talk until closing time, the man motions for me to leave, we get into the car, head home, put ourselves to bed and get a good night’s rest. A failure in connectivity which no longer pains me since it is so familiar.  😦

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