Bipolar

I talk light years a minute; leaving the listener struggling to get a word edgewise.  My thoughts are at lightening speed and so is my speech; just a stream of incoherent thoughts that come out so jumbled; I can’t even understand them at times. It’s the brain’s wiring that’s frayed and the distortion is loud; a large unnerving humming sound that is constant.  My highs are up to the moon and my lows are farther than the deepest oceans.  I try to keep up but my own mind leaves me exhausted; unable to keep up with these highs and lows.   It’s a prison of the mind and no one understands;  so you stay silent because it scares them; it scares me; to not know what’s happening in my own head and not having control.  I just want you to know that it doesn’t define me; I am not my disorder and you don’t need to be scared; I’m fine; it’s my mind that isn’t.

 

Image may contain: David Aguilera, closeup

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18 thoughts on “Bipolar

  1. Forgive me, but that sounds more like ADHD. The symptoms you describe and ADHD has traits that can lead to a misdiagnosis of Bipolar. I know because it happened to me and I was told this by my consultant who recently diagnosed me with ADHD after having been diagnosed Bipolar at 19. Talk to you doctor?

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      1. It’s not uncommon but sometimes it’s best to be sure. Go to the ADDitude website and do the ADHD test there. Will help you go in the right direction. Hope this helps.

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      2. No need to thank me. We, as a community, need to look out for one another. Know the signs, have each others backs when we’re unwell. Take good care of yourself, chuck. You are always in my thoughts.

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      3. You never should have to thank me for that but you are welcome. Feel free to guest post on my blog anytime you want.

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  2. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder which is more manic depression than manic highs. I totally understand though how you feel about not being able to keep up with your thoughts. Half the time my husband has to tell me to slow down and take a deep breath. Does he truly understand how our mind works? Probably not but I’ve learned to live with it. I’m here if you ever need to talk, shoot me a message.

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  3. I can totally relate. I need to discuss with my doctor about ADHD. I suffer from OCD as well. I’m new to blogging but find it. Therapeutic & interesting to see others who suffer from depression issues as well as pain. I’ve learned that Depression is not discriminatory. It hits all ages. I learn alot reading other people’s journey.

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