Can I make a confession and please don’t judge me but I don’t read. And I don’t mean that every blue moon I read a book; no, I don’t read books at all ( unless it’s for school and that is a chore I can barely get through) When I see authors and writers on Instagram and this blog; go on and on about the books they read; I actually feel stupid. In a sense they make me feel as if I am stupid. Because I know there are some who think that you can’t write if you are not an avid reader; I don’t really have a rebuttal. I just want to talk about why I don’t read. Here’s the thing: I love to write. Sure, my grammar isn’t the greatest but I think I am proud of what I’ve written; it comes from the heart and I try to be honest and I just enjoy expressing myself. I love writing poetry and have just started trying to write fiction and it’s a lot of fun; creating characters, dialogue, setting the tone, giving them a backstory; I love it. I just have never been focused enough to read; I can’t get through a few pages without getting lost or distracted and within about 15 minutes; I give up. Maybe it’s because I have ADHD or I’m a visual learner but I have such trouble reading. And people have suggested audio books and again; I just can’t focus on a voice going on and on unless it is about a subject I really am interested in. What’s I find to be interesting is that fact that I pride myself on having a large vocabulary and a way of expressing myself through words and people say you can only get that way by reading a lot; I got that way because I truly believe my writing abilities are a natural talent ( not bragging) and maybe one can be a writer without being an avid reader, I don’t know
And I love to learn; I think being a spectrum; I have this obsession with learning, you know. I can talk about history or music or different cultures all day long. At one point I downloaded over a thousand documentaries on every subject imaginable and although I lost most of them; I watched a lot and learned so much about history, cultures ( different subcultures) music, social movements, documentaries about autism and mental health disorders., nature and animals, biblical history, space, more BBC documentaries than i could ever watch in a lifetime. I consider myself an avid learner who is hungry for knowledge. When people go home and watch reality shows; I’m watching a 12 part series on Civil Rights; not because it’s required but because I genuinely enjoy it. The weirdest part is that I learned to read at a very early age with very little help. My parents say when I was 4 or 5; I just started reading on my own; without any help. I never struggled learning how to read at all; it came naturally to me. So maybe I just have to accept that reading isn’t my bag and it doesn’t make me stupid; despite what some other writers and published authors may think. Maybe it means my writing is pretty damn good; considering I haven’t cracked open a book since I was about 10. Just had to vent.