How to handle compliments

I just want to first say are going really well for me right now;  my new job seems to be working out; I am active in volunteering with the disabled ministry; I am reaching out to people online and the past two weeks I have been able to attend church; I couldn’t be happier right now.  And on top of all these good things I have been getting a lot of praise from people at church, work and a lot of online support ( I love the comments and messages; they make my day) Also I just started making videos and the response has been positive. I admit I am self conscious about how I come across; how I speak and my appearance but people have been unbelievably supportive. Making videos creates so much anxiety for me, but I am finding that people have been beyond kind; I didn’t expect it; to be honest.  And offline  I am getting compliments left and right; especially about my work with the disabled ministry; a lot of parents of the young adults have been praising me and I hear good things; it makes me smile. I had no idea I was so appreciated but I try to be kind and gentle and I think they can see that.

I just want to say that I am not bragging; I try to stay humble. I know a lot of us can feel unappreciated and unloved sometimes and I have felt that way all my life; so this is all new to me.  And that’s the thing; like anyone else; I love compliments and it kinda sets me on an emotional high which isn’t always good; maybe it occupies my thoughts too much and I have to tell myself to slow down and take a breather and not get big headed about it.  But even though I love praise at times; it also makes me very anxious because I am not used to especially when it’s almost everyday and from so many people ( some I know and some I don’t know). It makes me nervous because a part of me feels like I’m not worthy of the praise.  I have felt so bad about myself for so long ( and been treated so poorly by others) that I question the authenticity of their praise.  Do they really mean it?  Is it pity? Is it going to blow up in my face when they find out I am not as great as they say I am? I have a past; like anyone else and I have behaved in ways that I’m not proud of; although I feel like I am a much different person these days.  All this praise feels like I am in the spotlight; when some days I prefer to be in the background and yet I crave it; it’s a terrible paradox.  I am hoping over time I can learn to enjoy praise without questioning it and not be as anxious when someone says ” You’re so wonderful”

So when someone praises you how do you handle it?  I know most of us would accept the compliments but how do you handle it internally?  Do you obsess about it? Do you question it?  I used to think to myself; I would ecstatic to have all these praise; and sure it’s great but damn does it create anxiety.   I am really reaching out here and looking for help because I should be happy but some days I just feel overwhelmed with it all.  It’s like I woke up one day and became a different person overnight and it’s like a dream. But I will say that no matter what happens ( and if an some alternate reality I become a famous author) I never want to forget where I came from and all the people that were there for me on those days where I wasn’t getting praised and I felt like life was a battle; days that were long and exhausting.   That’s all I have for today. Thank you again; I am eternally grateful for all your kind and beautiful comments and praises; you make all the difference in my life.  Take care of yourselves.

With much love,

Dave

 

Image may contain: 2 people, including David Aguilera, indoor and closeup

Feeling like a million bucks after a much needed haircut

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4 thoughts on “How to handle compliments

  1. I think when we find it hard with compliments it will be because of self-esteem, which I have been reading about recently and also in the past when we have been bullied, not appreciated etc… as some examples.
    It’s took a look time for me to accept praises. I don’t remember ever questioning these praises, but I used to cringe, or feel uncomfortable.
    All I have done over these years is allow myself to still listen to a praise being given and try to get used to it, which I am better receiving them now, than I used to be.
    I even used to do a positive jar for a few years of all the positive things received or done, then look back on them at the end of the year. That helped.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was bullied as a young kid ( I just made a video about it) and that could easily be the reason. My self esteem has been low for so long; I still struggle with it today and I am not used to praise. I think you are right; acceptance is the key. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

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