I am completely exhausted; I just finished taking my first extended vacation on my own; I planned it; made all the arrangements and financed it. I traveled on my own and stayed with a friend for a week; I was visiting where I had grown up.  I’m pretty proud of myself and I feel independent; when usually I am overly reliant on others in many ways. I have been living where I have been living for over 10 years and I found it depressing that in all that time I had never left the city limits; due to many issues such as my health, lack of funds but a lot of it had to do with fear. I fear driving long distances by myself; I fear getting lost; I worry about the amount of rest stops I might need to take; just a lot of fear; some of it valid; some of it not.

I am taking today to rest and I was thinking about social media and how isolated I feel; the more isolated I am; the more I tend to overshare or exaggerate small successes in my life. I realized a lot of things when I visited back home;this trip opened my eyes to trying to rebuild my life where I am; as opposed to living in the past and on social media. I want to live life; and not a life I can use as a post but real life experiences that can help me grow as a person and learn about the world that surrounds me; instead of living in my little cocoon of a 25 mile radius. I want to meet new and interesting people; I want to join a writers group; I want to see art exhibits; I want to learn as much I can; never stop learn; that’s what I say!.

I have this craving to get in my car and just drive; even if I’m by myself ( which will be most likely the case) to the mountains for a day or two; take a 3 hour drive and stay in a motel or something; anything to get out of the mundane existence of living day to day. I took the train all the way back home and I realized I could go anywhere. I could go to Charleston, I could go to New York, I could take a plane to LA and just walk around Sunset blvd, look at the Hollywood stars on the sidewalk; enjoying the warm California weather and looking at the palm tress swaying in the breeze.  I need to see what’s out there and once I got a taste of freedom; this could be my ticket out of here; anywhere.  I knew this trip could be life changing but I didn’t know how. By facing the past and accepting reality, I can finally move on and start living life starting now….


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6 thoughts on “Wanderlust

  1. Well done!

    For me it’s the opposite. I used to travel a lot, alone or with people. But now I struggle with fear, especially travelig alone and flying has become a nightmare at times where I am just white knuckled holding on to the seat in front of me when the plane starts to ascend. I hope this fearvthing will go again.

    But good to see other are overcoming their fear and take the bull by the horns again and enjoy life. Well done you. I will get back to that as well, just one step at a time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Change is always good. I love travelling! But you know, the best change is when you decide to give your life to Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to save you from all your sins and he’s coming again. Hmm just think about it. Only He can fill that void you want filled and set you free from the past. Blessings & peace to you my brother! Much love! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m so happy for you!! It’s an amazing feeling to step out of your comfort zone & to prove to yourself you’re quite capable of doing a lot. And if fears pop up here & there along the way, you remind yourself, “I am not alone. God promises to never leave me not forsake me. He’ll instruct me in the way I should go.” I do this at times and it helps. God’s got you.

    Liked by 1 person

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