Let me just first say; I love to talk. All my life I have realized I talk too much; which turns people off. I guess I just have a lot to say; ideas that float around my head all day and I have this insatiable appetite to express myself to anyone who is willing to listen; it hasn’t always served me well; in fact it has gotten me into quite the bit of trouble over the years. But I will say that since I have started writing; I am less inclined to share all of my thoughts openly and out loud; sure when I am at home with my family I talk my head off; it’s safe. At home I can be myself; without being censored; and vent when I need to. But when I am at work or school; wherever; I find myself talking less. My quietness is less about being shy but more that I have nothing to say to the people around me. I prefer to keep to myself and I’m lost in my thoughts. I’m either writing in my little memo pad or I’m thinking about a past memory or something I’d like to do in the future; this is all new. I used to; inappropriately; vent to co-workers or fellow students; annoying them and getting me in trouble with bosses or teachers; but writing has changed all that. Instead of telling the co worker next to me how much I hate my job; I make a blog post; which is a lot safer since no one knows I write. Or instead of acting out because I’m anxious; I write about my anxiety; which I’m sure can annoy people; but it’s much better to than blurting out all my thoughts on a crowded bus of people ( I’ve never actually done that, don’t worry lol) This is just an added bonus of having a blog; I have an audience. Outside of this writing space; no one cares what I think or how I feel; and that is the truth. This is simply incredible to write something and have someone say ” I’ve been there or “I relate”. I don’t have seek validation in real life with people who don’t care; but here I feel understood and that means a lot to me. My writing is so important to me at point; it’s everything. It’s like a guitar to Jimi Hendrix or a paintbrush to Van Gogh; it has changed my life completely. This blog can be my voice. I can speak for those who can’t speak for themselves. I can tell you things I never could say out loud. I am really proud of this blog; I am happy I started writing. I think I have become an easier person to be around; for first the time ever; I am the quietest person in the room. People may see it as anger or disdain; I see as someone who prefers to only open his mouth when it’s important. I am not uncomfortable with the silence and I don’t need to fill the space with a loud boisterous voice; rambling on about nonsense; I can simply take my phone; type and talk as loud and as much as I want without a sound; silencio!.
Thanks for listening, Dave